The Academy: OCD Style

Open Wounds

They all fell quiet. 

"Do you have more?"  Silas urged.

My stomach turned and filled with shame. "It's nothing." I reassured. 

"That doesn't answer my question, Sang." His voice was firm, his eyes looked furious. He examined my arms quickly, then began separating my shirt from my skirt.  

"Please, don't." I pleaded.  

Kota brought Silas to a halt. "We can talk about this inside, Silas. We do not need to invade her privacy." The sense of confidence remained in his voice. They hate me. I ruined it all.  I should not have been so careless. I hated myself for ruining this all too quickly. 

Silas lifted me from the ground, "I can walk" I stated. 

"I don't give a shit" he replied.

Silas carried me to Kota's room. Kota had told the others to go home and that he would inform them of everything tomorrow. Kota met his eyes with mine, "I'm going to ask you some questions. If you'd prefer not to answer in detail, just say 'yes' or 'no'"

"Believe me, we'll know if you're lying." Silas added. His tone was softer now that he had a few minutes to calm down. Why was he so angry? He barely knows me. He was sitting next to me on Kota's bed. He leaned back with his arm on the other side of me, touching my side. 

"Do you have more... cuts than what we saw?"

I fought tears from escaping and answered, "Yes."

"Are they on your stomach?" 

"Yes." 

"Is it self-harm?" Silas questioned with concern and sincerity in his eyes.

I had to think of a plan. Self-harm would be an easy lie. It would get them off my back and maybe I could keep these friendships. I had to protect them from my mother. they couldn't know. "Yes" I hoped I sounded as convincing as the other times. It was not a complete lie, I often had to 'fix' it and my mother used that against me. 

"Bullshit." 

"What else would it be?" I took control of the situation by questioning Silas instead, hoping he would stop there. 

"Did someone do this to you?" I trembled under his gaze. I wouldn't allow myself to speak. The door handle turned and a man who looked no older than 19 greeted Kota with a nod. His back was up straight and his eyes swept the room, landing on me. He smiled warmly, he was captivating. 

"I believe you are Miss Sang Sorenson, I am doctor Green. Kota has briefly informed me of your situation. Is it alright if I take a look at your wounds?" He said, lifting his first-aid kit and setting his supplies down. My gaze turned to Kota, I hoped he saw the feeling of betrayal in my eyes. 

"It is nice to meet you, but I'd rather we all just forget about this and move on." I stood up. Silas grabbed my hand to still it. I hadn't noticed I was shaking. 

"Thank you for expressing that, however I have been informed of a concern and it is my duty to assess. May I have you sit down?" Something about Dr. Green made me feel safe. He actually made it seem like I had an option, he stood waiting for my answer, even though I had no choice. I complied. "I will be examining your wounds but if you feel uncomfortable at any moment, and need a break, please inform me. I have time." He spoke so professionally, yet he made me feel as if his words were only meant for me to hear. I nodded and Silas moved beside Kota. 

Dr. Green slowly moved my skirt, revealing the "FAILURE" and the other cuts on my thighs. "If I were to take a guess, this happened about seven days ago. Am I correct?". I nodded. He grabbed a cloth and dabbed the wound, drying it. "How many times has this re-opened? It seems an infection is beginning". I shrugged my shoulders, I honestly wasn't sure. 

"She has more on her stomach." Kota reminded sympathetically. I glared at him for telling him about my secrets. I thought I could trust him. Now, I'm not so sure. I was so humiliated. Dr. Green got me to lay down. He lifted my shirt but stopped at my bra-line. My heart raced, but this was different. I was no longer focused on people finding out, but rather focused on his touch. He softly rubbed my shoulder as he examined me. His warmth was comforting, were all doctors like this? Kota gasped as he saw my torso, however his eyes diverted from my stomach before I could catch him. After about 20 minutes, I was all bandaged up. 

The doctor put his hand to my back and helped me up. "I'd like to meet with you again soon, to check on your possible infection." He brushed a stray hair behind my ear "And just for the sake of seeing you."