The Academy: OCD Style

Held Tightly

The boys weren't overly shocked with my family situation, but they were fuming with rage. All their questions fired at me, I knew they weren't mad at me, but the way they were speaking felt like it. 

"Oy," Gabriel got the other's attention "She looks like a lost puppy, stop yelling at her guys."

The room fell silent as they all realized their sharp tones and they all held the same apologetic eyes. 

"I'd like to ask Miss Sang a few questions of my own" doctor Green piped up. All attention went to him, "Alone" he clarified. The boys were reluctant, but left the room together. Nervousness struck me, It was partially the topic of discussion but also the fact it was just me and him. He sat beside me on the edge of Kota's bed, "I have many questions but first, I'm sorry you had to un-willfully deal with Greg, along with your mother..." He paused and I braced myself for his inquiries. "Has your mother done anything like this before?" 

"No, I don't think she will ever do it again." I lied. 

His hand stroked my cheek, "Sang, I should provide you with the information that I am trained to know how , and when, a person is lying to me. I will ask you again" He pressed. 

"Is that part of doctor school, learning to see through lies?" 

He chuckled at my childish question, "No, it is part of the Academy. Please do not deflect my question."

The Academy? The boys had mentioned knowing when someone is hiding the truth as well. I kept my curiosities silent and answered him, "She hasn't done this before."

"But she's done other things?" I nodded, "Such as?"

"Nothing serious." Doctor Green hadn't caught the lie, because I believed it. I knew it wasn't society's idea of normal for a mother to hurt her children. But, it was my normal. I could keep my friends away from my mom. I needed to balance this, I just had to get better at hiding things. He bandaged my blistered burns, cleaned my leg wounds, and let go of the interrogation of my family. However, Doctor Green would have to assess me once a week to make sure I wasn't hurt again and so that I would not 'self-harm'. 

When we were done talking, the boys eagerly entered again. Luke sat behind me and put each leg to my side, Gabriel sat to my left and played with my hair, Kota was to my right and enveloped my hand in his, the others sat on the floor. I tried focusing but I could only think of all the touching. I didn't mind it, it was just difficult to adjust to. 

It was not until Doctor Green announced to the boys to be sensitive and aware of my OCD symptoms when I tuned in. "I can not confirm because I am not a psychiatrist but I am fairly certain Miss Sang struggles with obsessive compulsive disorder." My eyes brimmed with tears, I didn't want this. I wanted to be normal. How could Dr. Green say something like that about me? 

Kota's grip loosened as he moved my chin to face him, "Sang, nothing is wrong with you. We're all here for you. I get it." 

The boys all circled me in a group hug, all except Doctor Green. Did he not want to hug me? He seemed to show affection so easily when we were alone, but when others were near. It was different. Was that not professional? I constantly had to remind myself he was a doctor, he's really not much older than me.