One Shots - Capt. Maya Bishop and Dr. Carina DeLuca

Uncertainty

This is based on if Maya had told Carina what she did instead of Beckett telling Carina, instead of 6 months of Carina being in the dark, it's only been 3 and instead of 6 attempts (I'm assuming) it's been 3.
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It has been 3 months.

3 months of trying. 3 months of negative results. After their first attempt had failed she was kind of relieved that it didn't work. Even though they had agreed that Jack would be part of their baby's life and he or she would know their donor, Maya was relieved it didn't work. Carina was determined that they would not be their parents. She was derermined to keep her promise to her wife. They would not be their parents. She would not be her father. She wanted a baby. She wanted her mini Carina.

After their third attempt had failed, she eventually broke. Carina came home, their apartment quiet as if Maya had been out on shift when she knew Maya had 2 days off. She walked into their bedroom and saw Maya on their bed curled into her pillow, crying.
"Bambina" Carina says laying down behind her wife and Maya doesn't respond "bella, please look at me. What is the matter" she tries again.

"Carina", Maya says after a while realising Carina is behind her. She turns around facing Carina trying to calm herself.

"Breathe, Maya, just breathe. We can talk about this when you've calmed down. Just breathe for me." They stayed like that for almost half an hour when Maya says "I'm going to shower and then I'll be ready". She gets up to leave the room.

Carina for her part has no idea what Maya means or what they need to talk about. She knows that their attempts at getting pregnant have been difficult considering her age, but Maya's determination at wanting to be a mom never wavered. With every negative result, she held Carina as she cried, Maya pampered her and gently encouraged her that eventually it would work. Eventually they would have their baby.

She is broken out of her thoughts as Maya past the kitchen while she is pouring coffee, she puts the cups on the coffee table "Carina, I have to tell you something" she says to Carina looking scared.

"Bambina, whatever it is, please tell me. We can deal with it together"

Maya looks down at her fingers, she has to get this out, if she doesn't she could lose her life. Carina is her whole life. It used to be being a firefighter, now nothing is more important than Carina and the family they are trying to build. "Before I met you, being a firefighter was everything to me. Nothing was more important. Then you came and changed everything. I know in the beginning I was hesitant about wanting a child, because I couldn't be like my father and I was scared I would become him. Now we're trying and every negative result, it's hurting me. It actually feels as if my heart is breaking".

Carina gasps "Maya..."

"Wait, Carina, let me finish. When we came back from your interview, I was so happy. One step closer to my dream. Our dream. I have the woman of my dreams and I was going to be a mom. I was relieved when our first attempt didn't work. I didn't realise it immediately, but I was relieved. Jack has been missing, we don't know where he is and when Andy does call him, he says he is fine. I don't want that for our child. I don't want a donor that's going to up and leave whenever things get hard. I can't have my child love someone and then they just leave. My child needs to have people that they can trust, people that will always be there no matter what. We didn't have stability growing up, but my child, our child is going to know love and stabilty. I never want our child to feel like they aren't enough" she lets out a breath and Carina feels like their is more so she doesn't say anything.

"I made a mistake, Carina, I made a mistake and it's going to cost me everything. I told the Chief if she doesn't give me my job back, I'm going to report her sleeping with Sullivan"

"Maya!! How could you" Carina shouts at her. "How could you do this? Is this why Beckett has been giving you all the dirty work to do at the Station" she asks

Maya just nods, she doesn't say anything. She knows her wife. She just sits and waits for Carina to go off at her. "Maya, why would you do this, you have no proof that they are sleeping together. I know you told me they are and I told you everything will work itself out eventually something will happen. Now you have to go to work one morning and you may not come back. Your job is dangerous enough and you do this. Is being Captain really that important to you, that you cannot allow yourself to even be happy. Will you only ever be happy once you are Captain again? I kept asking what was wrong, I could see it when I was at the Station, I could feel it here. This is our home Maya, our life. I cannot have a child like this. You need to get help, you talk about love and stability but look at the chaos this has already caused. You are the only family I have left, Maya. Andrea is gone. The life we were trying to build is here. I could be pregnant and you tell me this. You need to get help Maya, I will not bring a child into this world like this" she gets up and goes to their bedroom closing the door.

Maya sits in their living room. She knew this would happen. This is the consequence of her impulsive actions. Years ago she promised Carina she would do better. Carina might be pregnant, she might be pregnant and now she is going to lose everything. She doesn't know if they are going to come back from this.

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A/N: I saw the shot of Warren talking to Maya and I had an idea of him either giving her advice or offering support. I feel like when the truth of what Maya did does come out the team will turn their back on her and she will feel even more isolated than she already does. While I do not agree with how she handled it because their could have been a better way, their has to be more than to it than her just wanting her position back. If she goes for help, I hope they delve into Maya's thought process.

A/N: I want to write more about this, but I don't know. I just needed to get this out of my head.