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CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY

-: fifth year :-

── IN WHICH GOODBYES 
ARE EXCHANGED

. . .


That evening, with Mr Weasley back in the house and officially better with several pointed comments about Muggle medicines from his wife only aiding that recovery, was supposed to be joyous. For some, it was, because Harry hadn't see the twins look that lively since back at Hogwarts, Ginny wasn't prone to lapses of silence and there was a definitive lack of some twinge in Ron's eyes whenever he looked at his best friend that had appeared after the mention of Harry being possessed. 

Yet, somehow, Harry didn't find himself in the mood to celebrate. He was returning to Hogwarts the day following, destined to take the Knight Bus alongside Tonks, Lupin and perhaps Jane, if she could convince them to let them come with (she was pleading her case all through the dinner), and after the alarmingly bumpy ride they were no doubt going to encounter, he would be forced back into dealing with Umbridge and her copious painful detentions that he didn't know if he could cover proof of up all that well by the time it turned to a heavy scar at Easter, teaching a group of people to properly defend themselves and now, extra lessons with Snape.

No matter how Hermione tried to twist it into looking like a good thing because really, if there was any chance that he was being possessed then he had to create some barrier, Harry couldn't shake the dread and gloom that settled in the pit of his stomach. Ron was clearly not convinced and Jane, who had only properly met him them, didn't seem all the way there either. He had told her everything about Snape at the first chance he could following the summer ordeal, and she seemed to sense something in him that filled him with another unease. Perhaps, although Harry was having an all together hard time of convincing himself of it, she was biased, on the pure account of being close with Sirius. That would never be the case, though, as much as Harry tried to think it into existence. 

Despite the cheer that radiated off of each and every Weasley in the house that evening, Harry didn't enjoy dinner. He, simply, didn't want to go back to Hogwarts. Jane didn't want him to go either, because she had this sullen look about her and she would spend the entirety of that evening detailing plans for that summer when he came to stay with Sirius that involved day trips into London and the two of them joining Flora, Angela and Jane at the manor at some point. Similarly, although Harry could attribute plenty of it to the presence of Snape and the... conversation that had taken place just that afternoon, Sirius looked as though he was sucking on a lemon all night, angry, upset and resenting the idea of being lonely in the house again.

He didn't sleep much that evening, and neither did Jane, sitting beside each other through all hours until their bodies forced them into sleep and they were woken up by sharp rapts at the door delivered by Mrs Weasley, who ultimately disapproved of the sleepover but had decided to let it slide on account of it being the last time. 

They got up and dressed quickly, meeting Hermione and Ron on their way down to the kitchen. Jane pushed the door open first, saying something about still needing confirmation on whether she could come or not, and the group of adults in there promptly stopped talking and Molly launched into serving them a hasty breakfast before disappearing to cast several spells to bring their newly packed trunks, complete with Christmas gifts, down to the entrance hall. 

"Jane, can I speak to you for a moment." Remus appeared over her shoulder just as she finished her honey-covered toast, she nodded, glancing to Harry who was watching, worried, before following him out into the corridor, lit purely by the glow of a magical lamp. "I know you were talking to Tonks last night, and trust me-"

"I can't come with?" Jane finished the sentence, not particularly wanting to listen to the long-winded way Remus was going about it. "That's alright, she said she didn't know if I could and wouldn't promise anything... except attempting to sneak me out either way." 

Lupin chuckled, looking almost relieved to not have to actually tell her himself. "Unfortunately that's the case. You'll have to say goodbye when we're leaving for the bus." He informed her. 

"Okay." She nodded, even-tempered even if there was a small bubbling of upset in her chest; there had been so much happening in the two weeks of the holiday that this seemed far worse than it truly was. "Can I ask why it was determined I couldn't come with? Especially after Flora took me up to Hogsmeade last year." 

"Dumbledore advised against it." Remus told her, gently, and after hearing Harry's failed attempts to speak to his headmaster Jane figured that she too would be unable to speak about him on the matter. But there was a thought blooming in her mind that she couldn't ignore. "And even Tonks can't ignore that." 

"Okay." Jane said evenly. "Thanks for trying anyway." He nodded again and she returned to the kitchen, only for her to find that everyone was rising from their seats to prepare to get the bus, gathering in the hall she had left behind. 

Harry reached her first, ducking into the drawing room to the right as Mrs Weasley began to guide everyone out the door. "You're not coming?" He asked, eyes wide behind his glasses. She shook her head and he let out a sigh, pulling her into a hug that felt tighter than usual. "I'll write to you as soon as I can." He promised. "Really, and we'll figure out your next visit." 

"I don't know." Jane frowned. "Dumbledore didn't want me going, so I doubt he'll let me go up again." 

Harry blinked. "He did?" She nodded and he pulled a hand through his mop of hair. "Right, right... you don't think it's for any particular reason, right?"

"Like the fact certain people are supposed to think I'm dead?" Jane watched as her suggestion transformed his expression and she almost regretted saying it. "Don't worry about it, please."

His hands found hers, clasping them tight. "You can't ask me to do that." He said.

"At least let me ask Flora first. Then you can worry." She leant forward to press a kiss to his cheek, the both of them turning when they heard a knock on the door. Sirius's head turned the corner. 

"Mind if I borrow Harry for a minute?" He asked.

"No problem." Jane smiled, and squeezed his hand once more before letting go. "I'll go say the rest of my goodbyes." She agreed and disappeared out the door.

And all of a sudden, Harry knew that he absolutely had to talk to Dumbledore.



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