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Time Was No Healer(Ningning)

Let's dance under the mistletoe on the day of the snow. Your beautiful colors are replaced by pale white; it reminds me of snow flowers. Did you see the snow? like your eyes. Come with me; let our hearts melt. I'll wait for you before the gray life comes to me.

I'm just falling more. Christmas without you would just not be Christmas at all. Snow angels on the floor remind me more of you. I want our time together to be endless. The snow is crumbling on top of my heart. Where are you now? I miss your heart, shaped by me.

It's so stupid that I wait for you even though I know you're not coming.

"You're still waiting in this park? You know she won't be back, right?" I felt a presence behind me. "I know, I just wanted to remember our memories and cherish each one of them." I sat there, playing with the snow on my palms. Kahei sighs, "You look like you make a fool out of yourself." I roll my eyes in return. "Oh, please, would you just leave me alone?" Though she was right, I do look like a fool in this same spot every day. Time was no healer for me; it served as a teacher. All those decisions I made had small regrets growing in them. At first, I admit it was all about money, but as soon as I learned more about her, I gradually fell deeply in love. Each day, the sand fell down like a timer.

Every mistake I made served as a lesson for me. Every pain I felt made me strong. Every time I stumble and fall, I get back up. Even with all of those lessons I learned, my heart was still aching.

"I'll get some coffee; be right back." And then Kahei left me. Why do I always hope you'd come? May I ask, is time a healer to you? I hope so. What have I done to you, I was never like this. I blame me . . . I fucking hate this. "I'm back." Kahei sits down on the bench. I can feel the heat of the coffee near me, gosh I remember her love for coffee. Every morning the aroma flows in the room. Oh, how I want to be taken back to those times.

Maybe time was no healer; I hate that. I hate that I always lose in life. "What if she didn't let me inside her walls?" I look at Kahei with tired eyes. Biggest 'what if?' in my life. "Then you'd be the typical Y/n, the sore loser in life." She chuckles. "I've always been losing, Kahei." She went silent. "Oops, I gotta go, I need something to do." she quickly rushed away as I watched her until she couldn't be visible anymore.

I sigh in defeat, "I'm sorry Yizhuo, for everything."

"It's unusual to hear my name out here." I looked beside me and saw her, the girl I've been longing for. "Oh, Yizhuo, it's you. And you have iced coffee." I chuckled silently as she sat beside me. I could feel my heart thumping hard through my ribs, she still has this effect on me. "I listened, Y/n. The tapes and everything. I understood, but I won't forget the damage you've done."

"I know . . . I'm sorry." I could feel my eyes emit hot streams of water. "Everything that happened was real, I hope you'll remember that. I did love you, ningning." I hear her sigh. "I hope you learned your lesson, Y/n" She stood up and was about to leave when, "what if there are more things to learn? What if the lesson isn't finished yet?" I quickly held her hand and pulled her close.

We made eye contact for a split second then I felt her touch again. This same scenario happened before, but after that, she left. This time I want it to be different. I leaned in, grabbing her nape, I don't want her to leave, not again. We stopped for a moment, but I was caught off guard when she pulled me swiftly closer and we were once again grasping to each other. She took the initiative of kissing me this time, and it was heaven. This was what I've been longing for, her gentle touch.

"I've finally listened to my stupid heart." Yizhuo rolls her eyes playfully. It made me chuckle. We're back to the start that I'd likely want to happen again and again by whatever it takes, just to be with her again.

"I miss you ningning."

"I miss you too. And also throw snowballs at you."

"Hey! Stop it!"