Margaret Allie Brandon (Jasper's Mate Story)

Chapter 64

Margaret's POV: 

I felt myself waking up with little if any memory of last night, but a metallic taste in my mouth as I woke. I sat up quickly realizing that I wasn't in the Cullen's house with Jasper as I last remembered being despite the immense pain that I was in those short moments. I was instead sitting on the forest floor, my t-shirt was torn and covered with what I knew was dried blood but not my own. The same could be said for the state of my leggings, the light grey fabric being stained black and brown in many places.

I looked around and saw that I was in a small clearing, forest all around me, and it was then I also realized I had blood on my face and my hands. I panicked for a moment until I realized again that it wasn't mine, but had dried in such a way that it appeared I had....I had drank it. I felt panic start to rise in my chest again as I stood up wondering where everyone was. Surely I hadn't been left alone out here, or had they decided that whatever I was wasn't what they wanted in their family. Had I been left alone out here?

I tried to think back to last night but all I could remember was being confused about why I was still alive, but like a vampire at the same time. Then blinding pain. The more I focused on it the more images I begin to have like flashing through a photo album at rapid speed. Jasper's concerned eyes as he carried me somewhere. The forest. A full moon above us. Screams, mine or someone else's I wasn't sure. Jasper pinned to the ground by......by something with grey-blue claws. Forest blurring by me. Deer alive one moment and then drained and ripped to shreds the next. A river with a beast looking out from where my reflection should have been.

It was that last image that had a gasp leave my mouth, realizing that the beast had to have been me. I had hurt Jasper though I didn't know by how much and I had.....I was that beast. I felt tears start to fall from my eyes as my knees fell out from under me, but I felt no pain from the fall. I was both part vampire and part beast but I didn't understand how, and as my confusion grew so did my panic until I was left struggling to breath.

"Mags! Relax dove, breath in and out like Jazz showed ya yeh?" (Elliot)

I heard his voice before I saw him, he flashed across the meadow and tried to take my hands into his but I jerked them away from him and moved back until a tree stopped my backwards escape from him. I was a monster, more of a monster than any of them could ever be as I couldn't even remember everything I did last night. I didn't want to hurt them, any of them. But I did listen to him and copied his breathing as I stared at him. A few minutes later and I was breathing normally, though the tears continued to fall.

"Did I...Jasper is he........what did I do?" (M)

"Dove, he's fine I promise he's at the house, da is looking him over. But he's about to go mad with worry if we don get back there luv. I've brought you change of clothes." (El)

He placed a change of clothes and I could smell Momma Esme's scent, knowing she had picked these out as there was no way Alice would settle on a pair of brown leggings and simple t-shirt. Elliot took a few steps closer before he kneeled in front of me again, this time with a wet cloth. I kept eye-contact with him as he started wiping the blood away from my face and then my hands, my tears that were falling helping ensure the cloth stayed damp enough. 

"I'll turn around but I'll be right here while you change, ok dove?" (El)

I gave him a deaf nod as I watched him stand back up and turn around. I took the clothes into my shaking hands before standing on shaking legs and changing. I knew that Elliot would keep his word but I didn't want to stay in the ripped and blood-stained clothes any longer than I had to. I finished changing before I slid back down the tree onto the forest floor again, tears still falling down my face. 

I watched as he turned and took a few steps closer before he offered his hand to me but I shook my head no, not wanting to face Jasper. Not wanting to risk hurting him again, as I knew that for Carlisle to be looking him over I did hurt him. I saw Elliot sigh some before he took a few steps closer to me and kneeled down in front of me again.

"Come on. It's alright." (El) 

"No, he's safer away from me. You all are." (M)

"Dove, you're wrong bout that. I know you're scared and confused but if you come back with me I can explain it all to yeh. And Jasper needs to see yeh love, you're his mate and you not being there after he almost lost you is bout to drive him stark mad it is. Please?" (El)

I couldn't answer him but I felt myself slowly nod as I let him take my hand in his own, and help me to my feet. He offered to carry me but I shook my head no at that idea, but even as we took off running towards the house he never let go of my hand. I knew I should be amazed at the speed I could run now, but I too much on my mind to concentrate on anything other than my thoughts.

I walked into the living room to meet the eyes of the entire family on me, causing me to flinch in on myself for a moment before I heard him say my name. I looked up from the floor and instantly met his eyes with my own. I saw Carlisle still attending to him with what looked like a bottle of venom and tears fell from my eyes anew as I saw what I had done to him last night. Four giant slashes went across his chest, deep and nearly penetrating into his body cavity where his silent organs laid. Carlisle was placing the venom in the slashes, helping them close faster than they would have on their own.

"I......I'm sorry.....I......I wasn't in control......I didn't know.....didn't know that.....I'm a monster....I'm so sorry." (Mags)

I was backing out of the room, prepared to run from the house even though I had nowhere and no one to run to. I only made it two steps away from where I had been standing before he gently grabbed onto my arms. I was about to force my way out of his grip, tears still falling from my eyes, when he gently captured me in a kiss. I froze, worried about hurting him before I felt myself melt into the kiss just as I always had when he kissed me. It wasn't until my hands touched his chest and grazed the slashes that were still healing that I froze and broke the kiss.

I found myself backed up against the wall with tears in my eyes as I looked at him before my eyes found Esme's and Alice's from across the room. I saw Edward tense as I looked at Alice, as Carlisle did the same with Esme when my focus shifted to her for a moment. I felt more tears start to fall from my eyes as they did that, realizing that I was dangerous to them. I saw Elliot take a step closer to where I was, Jasper only a few feet away from me once more. A gentle smile on both of their faces as I stood against the wall.

"I'm so sorry Jasper." (Mags)

"Maggie, I'm not mad darlin. I could never be mad at you, besides you didn't hurt me anymore than any other newborn vampire would have." (J)

"How can you say that Jasper, look at what I did to you and I didn't even know.....I couldn't even stop myself. We don't even know who else I hurt last night." (Mags)

"I'm fine Maggie, I swear. Carlisle almost has me all healed up and I'd go through it again every full moon as long as I get to spend eternity with you darlin. And you didn't hurt anyone else last night." (Jas)

"I'm covered in blood Jasper, how can you be sure??" (Mags)

"Cause I was following ya all night dove, after what happened with Jasper you didn't go anywhere near the human. You did take out a small herd of deer but being a newborn vampire and child of the moon, I'd expect nothin less." (El) 

I didn't say anything else as tears began to fall from my eyes, I knew arguing was pointless they weren't listening. I wasn't safe anymore, not even in thew newborn sense or being unsafe. I watched as Carlisle led Jasper back to his seat, before I glanced around room again. I saw Edward and Emmett both tense again as I looked at the women I had been considering my new family until today. They knew I was dangerous, I was a monster. I took another shaky breath before I sprinted from the room and back to the woods. 

I only made it a few yards into the woods before a set of cool hands grabbed my shoulders and stopped me. I half-expected it to Jasper or Elliot, and was surprised when I turned to see Momma Esme holding me in place, her arms quickly wrapping around me in a hug even as I struggled to get out of it. 

"Shhhh Margaret, dear it's alright." (Esme)

"NO! No it's not. Don't you see, I'm not safe for any of you." (Mag)

"None of us that believe that Margaret, you should come back into the house. Jasper is fighting tooth and nail against Carlisle and Emmett to get you back in the house right now." (Rose)

I looked to see Rose standing behind Esme a gentle smile on her beautiful face, but all I could do was take a few steps away from them as tears fell from my eyes. I shook my head and flinched away as they reached for me to again pull me into a hug. 

"No, you can't! Edward and Emmett know I'm dangerous. I know I'm dangerous. I'm a monster, He made me into a monster!" (Mag)

I took off running as fast as I could push myself even as they called after me in desperate tones. I didn't know where I was going, I just knew I couldn't stay here. I had hurt the one I loved the most, and I couldn't imagine what I could do to the others if given the chance. As the ground flew by under my feet I ran until the air and forest around me were completely new, and only then did I let my knees give out and sobs escape my chest into the empty woods around me.