The Rink (BXB) (COMPLETE~ UNDER EDITING)

🍁Accidentally met🍁

Edited!

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*

"C'mon Lorenzo, you can do this," I sighed, desperately trying to convince myself of the impossible. I could never do this. In fact, I've proven multiple times that I can't. And before you ask, no, I'm not going into detail about that.

The audience had somewhat quieted down, faint whispers and mumbles being the only boundary between sound and silence.

I was tempted to peek through the heavy steel door that separated the changing room from the rink, but I knew that was probably a bad idea considering I'd only freak out more, actually seeing all the people who didn't know about my existence. I sighed once again, leaning against the cold tiled wall. I buried my face in my hands as I sank onto the floor, trying to stop shaking. You're going to screw up, everyone will see you fail. You're a failure. 

I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard our coach announcing the start of the show, while the audience enthusiastically applauded— only adding to the overwhelming amount of pressure I already felt. Why did I even sign up for this in the first place? I knew the answer to that question damn well; I loved figure skating. One thing I didn't love, however, was people. Why? I wish I knew. Maybe it's the way they look at you with expectations higher than you could possibly achieve. Maybe it's their constant judgment or the way I could just never seem to understand why they don't like me. Is it because I overthink literally everything? Possibly.

I started fidgeting with the laces of my ice skates, trying to distract my mind. I didn't help much, but at least I'd managed to stop my hands from shaking uncontrollably. I closed my eyes and just sat there, begging myself to keep calm.

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"And lastly, Lorenzo Augustino!" My head shot right up when I heard my name, anxiety rushing through my veins. I took a deep breath and hurried off to the rink, not wanting to be late for my performance. I tried my best to remember the tips our coach gave me, like 'forget about the audience,' or 'remember your worth, they're here for you!' I scoffed; as if anyone would ever come here for me. Hell, like I said, they don't even know I exist. I took another deep breath and mustered up the courage to step foot onto the rink, gracefully skating up to the middle.

The lights went off, except for the single spotlight right above me. Soft music started playing, which was my cue to start moving. But I didn't. I couldn't. I tried with every muscle I had in my body, but I just couldn't move. Panic quickly started rising up my chest, confused whispers piling up in the audience. I felt my legs shaking, breaths started getting more and more unsteady. Shit. This was bad, really bad. The whole damn school was watching me, and I just stood there, frozen in my spot, my eyes focused on my feet.

I did the only thing I could think of; I ran. Well, it was more of a clumsy stumble as I tripped over my feet trying to skate away as fast as possible. As soon as I reached the changing room, I took off my skates and threw them across the room, probably damaging the blades, but I didn't care. I'd done it again. I wanted to scream and shout, but all I could do was cry. I sank onto the floor once again, crying uncontrollably. My body trembled, emptiness rapidly filling my head. I couldn't hear or see anything anymore. How could I've fucked up so bad?! This was a disaster, I was a disaster. "Fuck," I hissed, choking on a sob as more tears streamed down my face. My coach knew better than to come after me since this wasn't the first time I'd chickened out. But it sure was the worst.