Everblue

Chapter 40 - Ash

ASH

 

The soft rapping on the door woke me up from my drowsy state. I'd been dreaming of my angel again and the blasted noise interrupted my utopia.

"Go away," I grumbled and pulled the covers over my head.

"Ashlyn, you've got company," Mom said through the door.

"I don't want to see anyone."

I heard the door creak open and cringed.

"Georgia came to see you," Mom said.

"Tell her I'll call her later," I said into the pillow.

"You can tell her yourself." Her soft footfalls stopped in the corner of the room just before the pulleys whined on the blinds, shooting light into the room. "It's time you joined the world again. Tomorrow, you're going back to school."

"What?" I sat up in bed, shielding my eyes from the sun. "I can barely walk."

"If you want, I've been able to get you a wheelchair and Georgia has offered to assist you to every class tomorrow."

"No, please—" I was about to object when Georgia peeked around the door frame.

"Plus we've got great news," she said with a huge smile.

"We've?" I stared at the door, expecting others to file in from behind her.

Brown hair and broad shoulders belonging to none other than Callahan came into view. I swallowed hard, tasting dragon breath that could kill small animals. Though today was the day I could finally take a shower, I hadn't yet and wore the same green pajamas complete with stains from dinner the night before.

I pulled the covers up to my neck. "Um, I need to go to the bathroom real quick. Can I meet you guys in the living room?"

"Good idea," Mom said as she plucked a few dead flowers from my collection of vases.

Once the door shut, I lumbered out of bed and limped to the bathroom. My toiletries sat untouched on the counter. After a good brushing, I finished up with a gurgle of mouthwash and pulled my greasy hair into a ponytail.

The warm washcloth felt refreshing over my face. But the swipe of deodorant and spritz of honeysuckle perfume did a poor job of covering up several days of stink.

I peeled off the jammies I'd worn for three days and dug through the clean clothes piled in a laundry basket. The sight of the swim team jacket stopped me. I ran my hand over the satin and my lips tingled remembering I'd worn it that day. I pulled my arms into the sleeves and felt comforted somehow.

"Hey," I said as I hobbled into the living room and took the couch opposite Callahan. He sat right where Fin had during his visit. My face tensed, remembering his plea for help—a plea that had to be deeper than just a request for clothing. I'd been so cruel.

"Glad to see you're getting around better," Callahan said with concerned eyes.

"Yeah, well—" I shrugged and tried not to care where he sat, forcing my feelings somewhere under the buffer of pain meds. The way Georgia and Callahan looked at me made me feel like an insect in a jar, every move watched. "What's the big surprise?"

Callahan turned to Georgia. She could barely contain her excitement, bouncing in her seat. "We found out why Brooke was suspended."

I got out of bed and cleaned up for gossip? Completely unamused, I raised my eyebrows and waited. "And?"

Georgia's lips curled up. "She and Kylie rigged the vote. A teacher found discarded votes for you in the trash. The office had a hidden camera. They were totally caught red-handed!"

"Oh, wow." I sat up, curious to what exactly would happen to the Senior Ball Queen now that she was dethroned. "So?"

"They're announcing the new winner tomorrow, so you have to be there."

I laughed. "I'm not going through this again. People will just vote for me 'cause they feel sorry for me, that's all."

"No," Georgia said and looked to Callahan for support. "They're taking the person with the second highest votes from the original count."

"She's right," he said.

I sat there and shook my head. What if other votes were tossed too? How unfair. Not only to put the other girls through the humiliation again, but to make me go back early to prove some point. All because of lies.

The irony suddenly seemed funny. My best friend, whom I trusted implicitly wasn't even human and neither was her brother—a foundation of lies. And Brooke needed the Senior Ball Queen title so bad, she was willing to do anything for it—more lies. And I almost died from my own actions, but allowed people I love to believe it was an accident—lies, lies, lies.

Where was my dishonor? My title stripping? I deserved to be exposed as well.

 "I'm a liar, too," I said and began to laugh.

From inside, a week's worth of stress rumbled from my belly and strangely cleared my head. Georgia and Callahan both looked back in shock as I continued on. "I didn't get swept up by a wave off the beach. I took out our family's row boat on Sunday and fell out of it. The whole thing was my fault, and I lied about it."

"Ashlyn," my mother said behind me, her voice filled with disappointment.

I stopped laughing and stared at her. "Sorry, Mom."

She blinked back the tears in her eyes and remained quiet for a moment. Callahan and Georgia sat stiff like statues.

"I think it's time for your friends to go," she finally said.

In silence, they popped off the couch and filed out, looking shocked and disturbed, but I didn't care. I needed to come clean—to have them know what really happened. I wasn't worthy of the crown either.

But instead of relief, guilt swept over me and I burst into tears. The burden was so much deeper than just my mother's disappointment in me; grief for Fin and Tatchi's abduction and their faces right before they disappeared underwater haunted me. Not knowing their location or wellbeing wracked my nerves. My fragile psyche couldn't handle any more uncertainty.

I leaned onto the couch cushion and sobbed. A piece of my soul felt like it was dying and I didn't know how to fix it. The only time I'd felt whole since the accident was when Fin took my arm in the middle of my living room. And I'd forced him to leave, to go back to his evil cousin who wished nothing but ill will for both of them. I sent the one person who made me whole to his doom.

 I begged God to protect them as I folded myself into a ball, rocking back and forth. Their fishy fins aside, I knew for certain I wouldn't last long if something happened to either of them, especially to Fin.