Ares

-3-

I arrived back at my apartment and tried to do some work but my mind was just not there. Giving up, I ran a bath and put in some oils and lit some candles to help me relax. I had also poured a glass of red wine and was steadily sipping it as I allowed my thoughts to run wild. After adding hot water twice when the water had become cold whilst I was in the tub, I finally got out and dried myself. I moisturized my body and put on a thong and one of his oversized t-shirts.

Lowkey, I knew that I was inviting trouble by being skimpily dressed but at the same time I couldn't help but want him regardless. I was seated in front of the tv watching Basketball wives LA, the scene were Evelyn was talking about her pussy and how all men wanted it. I couldn't help but laugh amusedly. That was one thing I loved about reality tv. For a moment, I forgot about the impending heavy conversation I was about to have with Roman.

The doorbell rang and I bounded to the door still smiling until I came face to face with him. The emotions from last night all hit me at once as I stared at him. He smiled until he saw my change in demeanor. I wanted to be happy and excited to see him but I was deeply hurt.

"Hi," he said coming in for a hug. I hugged him back and felt my nipples become hard as our bodies came into contact. He held me against his warm familiar body and it felt so right. I was the first one to break contact by taking a step back.

"You smell good," he commented with a ghost of a smile on his face.

"Thanks... sorry come in," I said leading him to the lounge where I had been. Switching off the tv, I took my place on the plush carpet and grabbed my wine and sat cross legged with a throw over on my lap.

"Okay, I don't understand whats going on and I really don't like it Rez please explain whats going on", he said using my nickname that he exclusively called me by. I exhaled and took a sip of my liquid courage. "Are we together exclusively?" I asked him once I had managed to string some words together. His face blanched.

"Of-cause we are. Why? Have you been seeing someone or are you thinki—"

"No." I said cutting him off mid sentence. "Its just that last night Olympia and I were out. We were at Embers and I saw you. You were with a blond girl and I thought maybe she was just your friend but it looked like you guys were very comfortable around each other. I mean you were even grabbing her ass..."

"Baby.."

"No, Roman I have been going crazy all day. At one point I thought about doing some next level messy shit and looking for her on Instagram and sending her a direct message to ask her who she is to you and you to her but I talked myself out of it because I wanted to hear the truth from you. No bullshit, no puffery I just want the truth no-matter how painful it is."

A heavy silence followed whilst a wave of indiscernible emotions rushed across his face.

"Her name is Madison. We met at one of the cover shoots I had to do for a magazine spread. It was nothing initially—" my breath hitched and I took a gulp from my glass knowing what was coming next. He intertwined his fingers and looked down. It was almost as if, if he looked at me, he would be unable to continue.

"But we kept seeing each other as friends, but she met Jay, Tony and Tommy and got along with everyone. I am not saying this as an excuse but I found that... it was easier to be with her sometimes because of how we are both in the public eye." Silent tears were now trickling down my face. Maybe this is what I deserved. I was the one who refused to be acknowledged publicly as his girlfriend because I was trying to make my own name without being in his shadow. I wanted to be my own person, recognised for my own talent and efforts. But a small part of me which I drowned out completely because I didn't want to deal with it, knew that he was gaslighting me and using my insecurities to justify his bullshit behavior.