8 | Aurora

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By the time I reached back to my suite, I had only three words in my mind.

What. The. Hell.

I had no clue what sins I had committed in my past life that now I had to face its consequences in this life. I mean, why do I have to always face difficult situations and the weirdest people on this planet?

'God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.'

I am sorry, dear Lord. If you assumed that I was your strongest soldier, then you are wrong.

I stomped my feet on the floor as I moved back and forth in my room with my arms crossed at my chest. I was shaking with anger inside. Who the hell did that man think he was?

He literally bumped into me so harshly that instead of apologizing to me, he behaved rudely and then cornered me when I gave him the treatment he deserved.

Jerk!

And what did he call me? Little lamb? Seriously?

I mean, yes, I was shorter than him when he towered over me, but that doesn't mean he would brag about his long legs in the rudest possible ways.

And then again, I was blushing like an idiot when he pinned me against that damn wall like I was happy in that moment.

Stupid girl!

I should have slapped him when he was dragging me in the first place. He very much deserved that. Not that I didn't think about it when he saw me blushing and started to lean in as if he was about to... kiss me?

But my anger came crashing down when I saw those scars on his wrists, just as now it is disappearing when I remember them again. They were really deep, like he was desperately trying to end his own life. But why? What would have happened if he wanted to do something like that?

And again, who am I to have a say on this? I was the one suffering from the same thing. But I was too scared to hurt myself. I wanted a silent death to take me with it.

He was an arrogant man. I could sense that he had built up an aura around himself that said he didn't care for anyone, not even himself.

But I guess that we all wear certain masks to hide our true selves from the people around us. Maybe that's what makes us humans?

Standing in front of the mirror and looking at myself, I sighed and realized that in the process of healing others, I too had a mask on my face-or several masks. One for every situation.

Remembering my own memories and gently grabbing the hem of my top with my fingers, I pull it up a bit to reveal my own scar. It was on my left side, just below my breast, and big enough that it ended at my lower abdomen, looking dark and ugly as usual. Moving my index finger and tracing its shape gently, I realized that I was crying. No matter if it had healed, its presence was still there to make me feel like I was still in danger from the world and its people.

This was my true self, the one I was desperately trying to hide from everyone beneath my smile and optimism. I guess it was all a show, all fake, just to give others the assurance that I was fine, that I was the best, and maybe even to me.

I shuddered when I felt the pain from it, the same pain I experienced when I got this on that damn night. I knew the pain wasn't real, but its memory was rooted deep inside my mind and my heart.

Immediately putting my top down, I grabbed a bottle of water from the mini refrigerator, as I could now sense the panic arising on the back of my neck. I can't lose my shit, not right now.

I want to sleep; I need to sleep right now to escape this feeling. But that is again a null possibility. So, I decided to work on the next publication that I was currently working on. I found my escape from reality in only two things: work and books. And right now, I can work, and it will be productive for me.

I don't think that I will ever meet that man again. But I wish I could. I want to tell him that he's worthy of everything. I wanted to tell him that whatever may have happened in the past or is happening in the present, It will all be over soon, and the morning will come again.

I guess that's how we seek assurance for ourselves by giving assurance to others.

But right now, I am here to work. I am waiting for tomorrow morning to meet my said client. I hope that everything goes well in the end. I hope that if there is really any trouble with Adrian's brother Jade, I will be able to fix him.


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