The City Of Death

Chapter Nine- Macy

To say that this is awkward would be an understatement. 

For the first few minutes, we both just stand there, alternating between looking at each other and looking at the ground. Atlas said that we have a lot to talk about, and we do. But the question is where to start. I know there's no way I can open with my questions about Skye. It would blow the whole operation to accuse him of abducting and murdering Skye in the first few minutes. Those questions have been bouncing around in my head since I entered the Outside, but I'll have to hold onto them a little longer. It takes a second, but finally, I think of something to say. Something that makes more sense in this situation and won't blow my cover. 

"I don't remember any of this. This isn't the camp I remember from when I was a kid," I say, and he nods, laughing softly. 

"Yeah, well, that's because this isn't the same camp. The camp you remember is somewhere in there," he responds, pointing to the tree line with a fond smile. "It's hard to remember exactly where." 

"So what happened?" I ask, and the smile drops from his face. Atlas looks back down at the ground, running a hand through his hair. 

"We had to move," he answers simply, before sighing and rubbing his neck. I nod, understanding that I'm not getting more out of him. I wish I could. I'm curious to know what happened to the camp in the forest, what circumstances led them to move out here. And more than any of that, I'm curious why the Renegades thought that moving out into the open would be a better option than finding somewhere new in the forest. It might have something to do with the protection that the Cardinals have had trouble breaking through. 

"Do you ever think about that time? When I was a kid?" I ask, and Atlas nods, a grim look on his face. But after a moment, he smiled softly, looking up at me. 

"Every now and again. That's been, what, fifteen years?" he wonders, and I nod. Fifteen years. Sometimes it doesn't seem like that long. But when I try and reach back and access my degraded memories, I realize just how long fifteen years is. It's practically my lifetime. I've spent more time without Skye than I did with her, and it's only when that thought crosses my mind that I realize just how long fifteen years really is. Unless some miracle occurs, I'll spend the rest of my life without Skye. But at least now I have an opportunity to get justice for her. 

"Yeah, something like that." 

"Do you ever think about it?" Atlas asks, and I shrug. 

"I try not to. I mean, that... wasn't a great time for me, with everything else going on," I say, and he starts to bite the inside of his cheek. That's another thing that hasn't changed. I remember him doing that on those nights when he would come into the tent and try to comfort me. When I wouldn't be consoled, he would bite his inner cheek just like he's doing now. I wonder what he's holding back. What secrets he's hiding. "That, and it's hard for me to remember it. The memories are a bit fuzzy around the edges." 

"Well, that makes sense. You were just a baby." 

"I wasn't a baby. I was six," I remind him, and he chuckles. 

"When you've been around for a hot second, six years old still seems like a baby," Atlas says, and this time, it's my turn to laugh. As much as I hate to admit it, he's got a point. At six, I thought I was so grown up, that I was such a big girl. But when I look back now, I laugh at my own foolishness. Every child thinks they're grown up the minute they start to develop some independence. It's not until they get older that they realize how childish they still were. 

"Don't say that like you're some old, decrepit man," I remark, and he starts to laugh. A real laugh this time. True, in the City, he'd be getting on in years, exceeding a normal lifespan. But out here? Who knows what a normal lifespan is out here? I have no idea how long people live out here. But considering how good Atlas still looks, I'm going to assume a Renegade's lifespan is a lot longer than a Citizen's. "Do you remember Skye?"