The City Of Death

Chapter Fourteen- Atlas

It's always eventful when a new Renegade shows up. The first week or two is spent with them trying to get used to our way of life, and us trying to fold them into our lives. It's spent breaking down that barrier of us vs. them. Some Renegades take the change in stride. Annalise, for example, wasn't even fazed. It took her all of two hours and one meal to decide that she was going to be our cook, and that was that. Within two hours, it was like she had always been a Renegade. 

Some Renegades, though, struggle with the change. While Annalise was rather unperturbed, Israel took about a month to adjust. In some ways, he's never adjusted. He still feels split between the City and the Outside, the two sides of his brain constantly in battle. Matt has also struggled- the trauma he endured at Jezebel's hands hanging over him. And Aubriana, well, she had to learn to live with a body that had changed so dramatically. 

Even once someone is settled, they can find their whole world flipped upside down. Taryn thought she knew everything there was to know about life in the Outside. That was before she fell in love with a man she couldn't have. Savannah, while not entirely happy with her position as the camp's doctor, had settled into it and was confident wither her medical ability. Until she was crippled, and that confidence was lost forever. 

And me? I never wanted to be the leader. Well, okay, that's not entirely true. I'd thought about what it would be like, but I never thought it would happen. And I certainly never thought that I would get my position the way I did. It took me years to accept that some things can't be changed, and now I try my best to help my Renegades find the same acceptance. Some kinds of trauma can never be escaped- but we can learn to live with the way things have changed. 

And here we are again, helping someone new adjust to change. 

Macy's introduction to the Renegades has been more eventful than most. But then again, Macy isn't like most Renegades. Not with her history; the history I'm not entirely sure she remembers. Sometimes it seems she knows everything, and sometimes it seems she knows nothing. I've been meaning to ask her about it, but how does one start that conversation? How does one ask that question? "Hey, you remember your long-lost sister? Can you tell me exactly what you remember about her?" 

No. That doesn't exactly work out well for anyone. 

But there's plenty of time. We've got nothing but time. The last ten days have been hectic, but things are settling back into a normal rhythm. Aubriana, who had been helping Annalise while her ankle healed, is back on her feet. She's still limping slightly, but thanks to Macy's quick thinking in the woods, the sprain was not nearly as bad as it could have been. According to Savannah, she'll be limp-free in a few days. 

Matt is also back on his feet. Normally, such an episode would take him out of commission for a few days. But thanks to Macy discovering that the other "love languages", as she called them, were the cure to his Mark, he was back in action the next day. And finally, Matt and Taryn may have a chance to be together. They haven't made any sort of official move; they probably won't until Matt's Mark begins to visibly fade. But that being said, they're definitely getting closer than either of them had allowed thus far. 

And despite trying to tell myself it wasn't going to happen, Macy has been constantly on my mind for the past ten days. No matter what I do, I can't get her out of my thoughts or my dreams. Not that I'll be telling anybody about the dream I had two nights ago- or how hot and bothered I had been when I woke up because of it. No one needed to know that I was late to breakfast that morning because I was trying to get rid of the boner I had woken up with. Or that it had taken stroking myself off twice before I could be presentable. No, no one needed to know that. 

Especially not Macy. 

But it isn't just the fact that she's a beautiful woman that draws me to her. Which she is. She has the same beauty that Skye did, and that was part of why I can't get her out of my mind. But there is so much more to both women than their beauty. And I see a lot of Skye in Macy. Skye was a smart woman and Macy shares that same trait. She might even be smarter- it takes one smart cookie to be an established doctor at 21. Skye used her intelligence in other ways. She was a master of strategy and was always thinking three moves ahead. Not to mention Macy's resourcefulness- I wonder if she got that trait from Skye or from growing up orphaned inside the City.