ephemeral [ Conrad Fisher ]

20

Conrad

I followed Belly into the backyard, my heart heavy with a strange mix of guilt and determination. The party was still in full swing, but I needed to talk to her, to clear the air.

The truth was, I couldn't shake the memory of kissing Lennox. It had been an impulsive, reckless moment, but it had ignited something within me that I couldn't ignore. I liked kissing her, and that realization sent a pang of guilt through me because I knew it would hurt Belly.

As I caught up to her, she glanced back at me, her expression a mixture of anger and hurt. "Conrad, what the hell was that back there?" she demanded.

I took a deep breath, searching for the right words. "Look, Belly, I'm sorry if I upset you, but—"

"You upset me?" she interrupted, her voice sharp. "You kissed Lennox!"

I nodded, not bothering to deny it. "I did. And I'm not sorry about it."

Her eyes widened in disbelief. "What? Are you saying you like her or something?"

I hesitated for a moment, choosing my words carefully. "I'm saying that I don't like you the way you like me anymore, Belly."

Her face fell, and I could see the hurt in her eyes. "Anymore? So... so if I had said something earlier, we could've happened?"

I shook my head gently. "It's not about that, Belly. It's about how I feel now."

She seemed to process my words for a moment before a sly smile crossed her lips. "You know, Lennox is a real piece of work. She's ruined this whole summer. I don't even know why she's here."

My patience was wearing thin, and I couldn't stand by and listen to her bash Lennox any longer. "Belly, grow up," I said, my tone sharper than intended. "Stop being such a fucking mean girl just because you're not getting what you want."

Her eyes widened, and for a moment, she seemed taken aback by my harsh words. But then, her expression hardened. "Fine, Conrad. Have it your way. But don't come running to me when Lennox breaks your heart." I watched as she turned and walked away, disappearing into the crowd of partygoers.

With a renewed sense of determination, I turned and retraced my steps, heading back into the house. The party roared on around me, but I had only one goal in mind: finding Lennox.

I climbed the stairs, my heart pounding with each step. I had no idea where she had gone, but I had to find her. She deserved an explanation, an apology, and above all, she deserved to know how I truly felt.

I checked room after room, growing increasingly anxious as I failed to locate her. The house was a maze of laughter and music, and I feared that Lennox might have slipped away unnoticed.

Panic began to well up inside me as I realized that not only had I hurt Lennox, but now I couldn't find her. I knew I needed to talk to her, to apologize, to make things right, but I had no idea where she had gone.

I knew that when things were bad, she'd go to Jeremiah and I tried calling him, but that little shit sent me straight to voicemail. I had no idea where either of them had gone, and that thought sent another wave of anxiety crashing over me.

I had never felt so lost and out of control in my life. Panic was clawing at the inside of my chest, squeezing tighter with every passing second. I scanned the crowded room at Nicole's house, searching frantically for any sign of Lennox. But she was nowhere to be found.

Why did I even care so much? I tried to convince myself that it didn't matter, that I should just let her be. But the truth was, I couldn't stand the thought of her out there, upset and alone.