The Office Affair

Chapter 6 : I love her

How did I come to this point? I used to detest this culture of casual sex, one night stands, friends with benefits and no strings attached. I had always thought that one day I would love someone and marry them. Or at least date them before having sex with them. But somehow I find myself so helpless in front of her. She was right, I cant resist her touch. It feels so wrong, but so good at the same time. In our society, homosexuality is seen as a crime. So I had never even imagined being in bed with a girl. But something about her is just so.... magnetic. I don't know what to do next. Am I developing feelings for her? No, God, this can't be. Just a few days ago I despised her from the bottom of my heart and today, I cant stop thinking about her, how her eyes and hair glistened under the light, how hot she looked without her clothes, how her touch made me anxious but also comfortable at the same time. Is this what "butterflies in the stomach" feel like? But then again even if it was just physical, why was I expecting her to stay, say something to me or spend time with me? Is it normal to feel so? Why do I wanted to feel all that again?

I sat in the bar contemplating. The same bar where it all began. Why did I drink that day? Am I really turning into a slut? I shouldn't have been influenced by peer pressure. I was so tired of being called a nerd and being tagged as a person who is "no fun", "not cool". "boring" and "studious with no personality". I wanted to feel included. These are the consequences of my own actions. I was so drunk. I got taken advantage of. I was tired of listening to my friends boasting about their body counts. It is very common in our society nowadays. I was confident about my choice of loving only one person and dedicating myself to them but again, I started doubting whether waiting so much for someone I don't even know , actually worth it?

Suddenly, I saw Anika enter the bar. There was another girl with her. What was I even expecting. Fucking and moving on is just her daily routine. If I could be like her, life would be so much easier. I wouldn't be sitting her miserably contemplating my decisions coz now she is everywhere, in front of me, in my thoughts, in my fantasies, in my mind, in my office too , for god's sake, and also ... in my heart.

I tried to mind my own business but I couldn't stop looking at them. As much I tried to distract myself, there was a weird burning sensation in my heart. Something I wasn't really familiar too. Is this... jealousy? Coz if it is then its gonna be really dangerous for me. People say drinking is the medicine to forget all your worries and lighten up your mood. I have realised I am not a good drinker but at the moment I have no other option than to take a drink.

I go to the counter, order vodka. She is sitting just 5 feet away from me. Yet she is so engrossed in talking to that girl, she doesn't even know I am here. I finish my drink, but the burning sensation is still there. She will never be mine, but I want her all to myself. Am I too selfish? Maybe I am. I wasn't this person. Or maybe I just didn't know this side of me.

I take another drink. I feel a slight headache and the drowsiness is starting to kick in. I take another drink. My vision is blurry, my throat burns and I feel dizzy. I go to order another drink.
Suddenly another hand grabs my hand and prevent me from holding my glass. The gold watch. Anika.

"Stop. If u cant handle it, don't drink", she said in a stern voice.
"Who are you to tell what I should do and what I shouldn't? Are you my friend? NO. Are you my partner? NO. Are you my parent? NO. You are only my boss. And sorry boss, this is not your office", I replied angrily.
Her grip on my hand tightened. "Maybe I am no one to you. But I am telling you this for your own safety. If you drink more than this, you will lose all your senses. And there are people in here waiting to take advantage of you. So go home."
"WOW. The person who herself took advantage of me is concerned about others taking advantage of me? Are you talking about people like yourself? Isn't that what you want, for me to drink till I lose my senses so that you can fuck me and label me a slut and assert dominance over me? You were the one to call me a slut in the first place. Then let me get drunk and fuck someone. ", I shout at her.

I free my hand from her tight grip, grab my glass and go to sit on the sofa, but a huge , tall man interrupts my way. "Hey, beautiful, would you like to go somewhere with me?"
I say no and try to cross him but he grabs my hand. Suddenly I feel someone kick him on his face and he falls to the ground screaming. He lets go of me hand, I turn around and see Anika standing there with blood on her heel. She kicked him with her heel!! In his eye!! The man is sitting on the ground with blood trickling out of his eyes.
"If you would have listened to me earlier, I wouldn't have to do this", she said to me with a disappointed look on her face.
I felt inferior and stupid. "I'm sorry", I lower my head my head in shame.
"Come with me", she orders.
"Why are you protecting me? You don't care about me. You think I am a slut. You probably gave me the job so that you can take advantage me again and also so that you can keep an eye on me so that I don't reveal this dirty little secret of yours. I wanted to get the job due to my accomplishments not my body.", I say while tears form behind my eyes.
She replies in her usual calm voice, but this time its consoling and not strict or mocking, "I didn't give you the job because I fucked you. If that would have been the case then I would have given the job to every person I fucked. I could have kept you away from my company and just given you money. I don't mix my professional and personal life. I gave you the job because I can judge people quite well and I felt that you are honest and deserving , something which is really valuable but most people aren't. And I know you are not a slut. I knew that from the day I met you in the bar. You probably don't remember what happened. You were drunk as hell. You were sitting on the sofa beside me. Your friends had probably left you. Suddenly you kept your head on my shoulder. I tried to move you away but it seemed like you had already become unconscious. I tried to ask you your address but you didn't reply and kept blabbering that you hate your life and everyone hates you and you wish you could change yourself. I did not pay any heed and decided to drive you to the nearest hotel. I carried you to the room and placed you on the bed. You started saying that you want someone to fuck you cause you were tired living this way. You started saying that you think you are ugly and hence no one wants to fuck you. And when someone asks me to fuck them, I fulfill their wish. So I didn't take advantage of you".

I was shocked at the revelation. I was speechless. I still had difficulty processing things due to how drunk I was. Anika took me to her car and bent over me to buckle me up. I couldn't stop looking at her jawline and her lips. I wanted to kiss her. At that moment, I couldn't control and I kissed her. She kissed me back.