All things ENFP

Feeling like an INFP

I am an ENFP 4w3 (on the enneagram, that's another personality test that shows what your core fears and desires are). 

Being a Type 4 isn't too uncommon for an ENFP, but most people correlate ENFP to a type 7 (which I relate to somewhat, but I don't always feel as joyful and impulsive as I'm painted to be). 

So, my enneagram explained a lot to me because I constantly jump between feeling like an extrovert or introvert. Dichotomies can be difficult for me since it's possible to relate to so many things at once. Sometimes I feel like a Thinking type depending on my mood even. 

In middle school I definitely felt more like an introvert, but I suppose that was just part of my development. My extroversion came when I was older and more so when I was healthier mentally. I've heard that extroverts become more extroverted when unhealthy but that has never been the case for me. 

Sometimes it's strange to see myself as an extroverted perceiver. That puts me in the same category as ESTPS, what a contrast! I have a best friend who's an ESFP though, and she reminds me that I truly can be a freaking animal. I have a bunch of IXXJ friends and family though, so that probably explains my weird quandaries of feeling more withdrawn and responsible than my apparent stereotype. 

A lot of people say that INXX types are the most intelligent and misunderstood, but that's seriously because the MBTI community is full of these types so there is a lot of information, resources, stereotypes and bias about them. They also make most of the memes and content related to MBTI, so when they see EXXP...they're like...oh! Let's make them look irresponsible and dumb! So, the stereotypes get played up to a degree that looks completely unrelatable and almost not even human.  

I've never been a bappy unicorn who poops out glitter and rainbows. Half the time I don't even relate to that. I feel like anytime I post anything on the internet, I sound like an EXTJ. Funny thing is if you have a conversation with me in real life, are my coworker or you see me at a birthday party, I will probably fit the ENFP stereotype perfectly. 

I can be organized; I can be withdrawn. I can be so serious I baffle myself. In my natural state I probably do talk a mile a minute, buy a bunch of clothes/food on a whim (my ESFP friend and I literally had this idea to pretend we're roommates looking for a house just so we could see what the apartments above stores downtown looked like), be totally funny, shallow and irresponsible. I can seriously be anything but limited. Limited by the box of being a unicorn who poops rainbows. She isn't me. ENFPS don't like to be limited because we can be anything, and we seriously try to be everything, and feel everything. 

I was looking at some of these memes today, and sometimes I relate to them, but today I was rolling my eyes. I feel like an INFP, or an ISTJ even. Truly though we are not the relentless thrill seekers and annoying goofball clowns we're painted to be. I mean sometimes I am a clown, but it sometimes makes me sad that people see me and believe that is my constant state of being.