Outcasts

Chapter 17.

— Alyssa's POV —

This past week has genuinely been the most insane week of my life. Not only did I lose my virginity, Scarlotte is now my girlfriend as I am hers. She asked me to prom, and now I have both of our dresses hung over my door.

It feels like a dream come true, every that's happened is so surreal, and it feels like I'll just wake up and all of this will go away. I'll just go back to being the same girl a couple weeks ago that relied on razors and naps to simply just get through the day.

It's been over a week since I even thought about hurting myself, and nearly month since I last did it, and for once I'm proud of myself. I know relapses can happen, but I really hope this is it now, and I'm finally clean.

I was killing myself slowly and I had not one care in the world if I did die and leave my loved ones behind, and now I'm not just surviving, I'm living and enjoying my life. I'm finally in a place where I never thought I'd be in, and and I couldn't be happier.

I'm going to prom, and I'm going to be wearing a pretty dress with an even prettier girl by my side. I'm so excited.

Mom made it quite obvious to both me and Scarlotte after we bought our dresses that she would be hiring a professional to do our makeup and hair for the big day as well.

Honestly, she's acting like we're getting married and to her that's exactly how important prom is. I can only imagine how she was for her own prom. And so we agreed with the extra add on's she so desperately wanted for us, and let her do as she pleased.

As long as my mom is happy so am I, and while she's planning my prom, it just means less arguments in the house which is always worth it in my eyes.

On the way home from dress shopping, Scar asked my mom if it would be possible for her to keep her dress with mine until prom as she didn't want her mom finding it, and possibly selling it. She doesn't let us in on too many details on how her mom is but she slips sometimes revealing details I sometimes don't expect.

I couldn't really believe that her mom would do that - sell her dress - but I guess, if she's desperate enough she would.

And so my mom gave her a hug, I kissed her cheek, and she laid her dress on the backseat, leaving us at that.

I haven't seen Scarlotte since that day. Mom dropped her off home just before it was time to lay the table for dinner - she made it clear to me that she had dinner plans with her brother and she wasn't exactly too excited with what we were having - and we said goodbye as she walked into her house.

It's not the first time my mom has been to Scarlotte's, but I really expected her to say something judgmental about the area she lived in, but she never did, not once did she even share a look on her face that painted anything but a neutral expression.

Not that I wanted her to comment on how Scarlotte lives - I didn't, at all - but it's what I expected, she loves to be the town gossip, commenting on other people.

So, with facetimes and phone calls, we've talked every day since, but I've missed her so much, it's not the same than having her in my arms, talking to her face to face.

It's only been three days, but it seems so much longer than that. Last week we spent every night with one another, but since we got back from our trip we haven't even spent one night together and I really do miss her.

And as I sit around the dining table, my mother and father on either end, me sat in the middle, I shake my thoughts of Scarlotte and I sink into the conversation around me.

Mom's talking about the usual gossip surrounding her friends at the country garden - apparently someone is having an affair and when I begged for a name my mom shut me down - and my dad soon changes the topic of conversation so I will shut up, and he fills us in on his one true love - golf - and finally as conversation turned on me, I filled them in on what I know about prom.