Game Over

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I knew that it was his subtle way of telling me to leave him alone.

He told me na sa LE pa rin siya magrereview. He hid all his activies in social media from me. He wouldn't reply to my calls and texts...

I knew I should leave him alone...

I knew that...

But I couldn't stop thinking about him... at kung ano ba iyong nagawa ko para gawin niya 'to sa 'kin? Because whenever I'd think about the last interaction we had, he even went to my place and waited until I was pacified. He stayed with me hanggang sa maka-tulog ako. He was still replying to some of my texts.

It was fine...

Alam ko naman na busy siya kagaya ng palagi niyang sinasabi sa akin. But... why did he need to do this? Mas masakit 'yung pagha-hide niya ng stories niya sa 'kin. Alam ko wala naman kaming dalawa... but I would've hurt less kung direktang sinabi niya na lang sa akin na tigilan ko na siya. Kaysa ganito na akala ko okay naman lahat.

Para akong naiwan sa ere.

Ah... baka ganito iyong sinasabi niyang detachment.

Tangina—mas masakit pa ata 'to sa breakup. Iyong tipong bigla na lang nawala na hindi mo alam kung may nagawa ka ba o nasabi na hindi niya nagustuhan.

"I'll be fine," I kept on telling myself.

There was no Lui when I graduated from law school... and there'd be no Lui when I finish the BAR exam.

I'd be fine.

And that's what I'd been telling myself for the past few days. Pinilit ko iyong sarili ko na magfocus lang sa pagrereview kasi ano ba naman ang magagawa ko? Wala. Wala akong magagawa.

And that's probably why it sucked more... Kasi hindi naman 'to breakup na pwede kang makipagnegotiate na magbabago ka... o kaya sabihin mo na cool-off muna.

What were we even?

Bodies to warm each other's bed?

Situationship?

God, even in my own head, I sounded pathetic.

"You okay?" tanong sa akin ni Cheena nang maabutan niya ako na nasa classroom pa rin. I had no appetite to eat. Nasa classroom lang ako lagi kapag lunch break. Mamaya na lang ako kakain sa condo. I just needed to eat para hindi ako magka-sakit.

"W-what?" nabigla na tanong ko sa kanya. I forced a smile. "Y-yeah, I'm okay. Thanks for asking."

Tumango siya. "Here," sabi niya tapos ay may inabot na box sa akin. Inabot ko iyon at nakita ko na box iyon ng vitamins. "Bawal magkasakit ngayon," she continued and smiled at me.

"Thank you," I told her because I appreciated this gesture of kindness... because it felt like it's been a while since someone really cared for me outside of my family...

God, I was so exhausted kahit nag-aaral lang naman ako.

"Shit. I'm sorry," I told her when I started tearing up for no reason.

Cheena handed me a pack of tissues. Naupo lang siya sa tabi ko. I wasn't really friends with her dahil hindi naman kami naging magkaklase talaga. I was just familiar with her dahil maliit lang naman ang mundong ginagalawan namin. But I was thankful for her presence. I just needed someone to talk to... kasi parang wala akong makausap.

"You wanna vent?" sabi niya habang nakaupo lang sa tabi ko. "I know we're not close, but I have ears. I can listen."

Patuloy ko lang na pinupunasan iyong luha mula sa mga mata ko. I wanted to stop crying. Baka may dumating dito sa classroom tapos makita pa nila ako na umiiyak. Ayokong maging laman ng chismis nila.