33. Nothingness - END

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I prepared to be greeted with pitch darkness, but all I could see when I opened my eyes was white. The white ceiling, white bed sheet, and the familiar surroundings of my bedroom surrounded me.

I noticed the maid sitting on a chair beside my bed, diligently knitting something. My throat felt as though it were overgrown with thorns, making it painful to call out. Desperate for water, I waved to catch her attention. In an instant, she abandoned her task and fetched me a glass of water, which I greedily gulped down before she disappeared from my room.

My stomach cramps crept in, but not as strongly as before.

I saw Xander take a wide step towards my bed. His face is a cocktail of emotions, but his eyes burn like fire, ready to consume me alive. There's no trace of the kindness he showed me before.

"Hi," I greeted him with a small smile. But he says nothing. I touch his left arm to get a reaction, but he stands still like a statue. He lets out a ragged breath, then clenches his fist. "Is everything alright?"

He closes his eyes, as if looking at me is harder than going to war. His knuckles turn white and tremble uncontrollably.

"Xander, are you okay?"

He finally opens his mouth, but his voice is like thunder that shakes the ground. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Kill my kid."

The air hangs heavy with unspoken grief as I face Xander, his eyes full of pain. His accusation reverberates through the room, leaving me stunned and bewildered.

"I don't understand," I stammer, my voice barely audible. "What do you mean, 'kill your kid'?"

"Don't try to lie to me." His words hang in the air, a chilling accusation.

Confusion must be dancing in my eyes, and he seems to catch it because now he is talking to me. "You planned this all along. You deliberately aborted your pregnancy. How much did they pay you? I should have realized this all along. You, human, will do anything for money." His words are like broken glass, and every piece stabs me deeper.

But one word sticks in my mind, deepening my confusion. My hand automatically covers my stomach. "Pregnancy?" I whisper to myself.

Xander's eye bores into mine. His anger transforms into something else, something deeper. "Don't pretend," he spits, "you knew all along."

I'm pregnant.

The room seems to close in on me, the walls pressing against my chest, making it hard to breathe. My other hand clutches the shirt on my chest, trying to make room for me to breathe. My eyes are blurred; I can't focus on anything.

"Xander, please, I don't understand. I'm pregnant?" My hand remains on my stomach, feeling the void.

"Not anymore." His voice cracks. "You can drop the act. I know you are meeting Orinthar. What did he promise togive you? Power? Money?" He stands and paces the room with an anger that puts shame to the storm raging outside. "I could give it all to you, Aira!" He yells. "There's nothing I wouldn't give to you!"

I can't process Xander's words. After the first sentence, the truth slams into me. A wave of grief and guilt hits me, making the room spin. I clutch my stomach, trying to feel anything more than just an empty hole.

Nothing. I couldn't feel anything. Not now, not before. My ears stop hearing anything; the only thing I can focus on is the searing pain that stabs me in my heart. The guilt of knowing nothing and the grief of something I never knew existed fill my head.

I stay in the bubble that I created, filling it with the newfound truth, but I can't seem to make myself cry. I just stand in the void of nothingness, with grief and guilt taking turns to beat me.

I don't remember anything else other than sleeping more and more every day. I lost track of days and hours. I can't bring myself to open my eyes. All I want to do is sleep so I can avoid the numb feeling every time I open my eyes.

A train of questions that I never stop asking myself ricochets in the room. How did I not know? How could this happen to me? Is there anything I could do differently?

I'm lost in my own head, and I never knew how scary it was. But I stayed there because the surge of emotions when I opened my eyes terrified me.

The commotion outside my room tore me from my thoughts. The voice that I knew better than anything knocked on my ears.

"Aira!" The high-pitched voice trembled on the edge, signalling the owner was crying, and my body moved without thinking. I crossed my room and opened the door to find my mother crying and her male companion, Orinthar, ready to pounce on anyone who touches her.

"I came for my daughter," Orinthar hissed at two guards. I found three more lying on the ground. "I will go with her, even if I have to kill you all." His words sounded more like a promise than a threat. His body emerged with power I have never seen from him.

One guard took his threat seriously, and he slammed him to the floor. He then kicked the other and drew his sword.

My mother ran to me. Her eyes were red, and her face was wet with tears. She didn't care about anything else, including the guard who ran after her because she knew Orinthar would slash anyone who harms her. And he did.

The guard fell to the floor, drowning in his green blood.

"We need to go. More will come," Orinthar barked instructions, then carried my mother on his shoulder while the other held my hand and tugged me to follow him.

I hold my ground. "I need to talk to Xander."

"You cannot. Do you know what punishment awaits you if you stay here?" Orinthat didn't wait for my answer. "Death. If they think you deliberately kill Zorion kids in the midst of extinction, death is the only punishment you will receive."

"Xander will not let that happen."

Orinthar hissed. "There's nothing he can do. Your death penalty will happen in two days and I don't want to see anything happen to you."

Everything happened so fast, but one thing I know: I don't want to be here anymore.

END

This is the last part of Book 1. Please leave a review, like, and comment. Follow me to get notifications for Book 2. Help my story reach a broader audience. Thank you so much! 😊

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