Obstruction

Bringing on the Heartache

- Def Lepard, Bringing on the Heartache -

https://open.spotify.com/track/63xnY2Qy4VI8PIadVGKuZq

Monday, Simon continued to nag, beg and persuade. Roses had been delivered before breakfast with a note of apology ending with the words 'I meant every word' which kinda defeated the purpose of the whole apology.

He was stood by the gates to the academy as I arrived with a hopeful look on his face.
I tried walking past him, but he grabbed my arm and stopped in front of me.

"I'm so sorry, Izzy," he whispered softly.

"Have you stopped being stupid?" I asked.

"I had to tell you. It was eating me up inside," he said.

I looked at him and the unexpected insecurity in his eyes. Simon, the cocky, confident, funny guy I knew was reduced to a nervous mess.

"Why now?" I asked helplessly.

"Because you own me. Body and soul," he whispered.

I shook my head.

"Please, Izzy. I need you," he whispered again.

"No, you don't," I said and shrugged his hand off.

I didn't look behind me as I entered the grounds and turned towards the arts building. My head felt heavy and I had no idra what to do next.
I had to get Simon out of this stupid notion.
There was no way I was ready to accept or process what Simon was saying.
He was my best friend.

The thought of not having him there, laughing, joking, protecting me was completely foreign to me. I was suddenly questioning why he had always looked out for me. Why he was always nudging me. Why he was even in the same course as me.

I was doubting our entire friendship.
If he had feelings for me, where did that leave our sibling status?

"Hey. What was that?" Ellen asked as she caught up with me.

I exhaled heavily as I turned to face her.

"You and Simon had a fight?" She asked.

"Something like that," I huffed and rubbed my forehead.

Ellen studied me carefully.

"He finally told you, huh?" She asked.

My face snapped up to look at the sadly resigned look on her face.

"Izzy... sometimes you are blind. Sometimes you are completely on a different planet, but in this case I think it's been pure denial," she muttered.

I felt my mouth open and close repeatedly.

"Simon is in love with you," she said with certainty.

I was unable to find an answer.

"I don't know why you look so shocked. It's been kinda obvious," she muttered.

"But.. you... and Simon?" I stuttered.

She shrugged.

"It doesn't matter," she said.

"Of course it matters! You're my best friend!" I said.

Ellen smiled sadly and gave me a hug.

"Find me at lunch. Okay?" She said and I nodded into her hair.

There were chocolates on my art desk when I arrived. Simon was deeply invested in a drawing behind me so I simply placed the chocolates in front of him before I quietly started on my own project.