Eye Of The Deep

Chapter 8

It was already noon. Just couple hours before the moment that will change Amanda's life. Forever.

Bruna, Ezra and Amanda went home a long time ago, but Jackson stayed on coastline, thinking. A lot of things were going through his head. For example, the fact he lied to Amanda made him sad, but it made him even sadder that he could not tell her the truth. He couldn't bear what she would see in him after knowing the painful truth. Fear she would take pity on him. Why does he have to be this miserable? He could have lived happy with any family that offered to adopt him, but no. He refused all of them, and still hoping, waiting for his mother. And now he regrets it, of course, because he sees that she will never come back. She left him and didn't care a bit. He feels weak, tired of living for nothing - tired of pointless life.

That one thought was going through his mind, wriggling and pointing out. He was ignoring it for a long time, like a dark cloud latch to his back but choose to ignore it. But now it makes sense, his mother do not care about him.

What if he gives up? Do terrible things to himself, it would make everything easier. No one would care, because it's like he doesn't even exist. He's just one of many kids in Rose's Orphanage for Children, or short ROC, who will never be important and noticeable to others. That's how he felt. But...

Amanda.

She was the only one that made sense living for. Like a crumb of light in the deep, scary dark. She was worth every moment he was holding on not to kill himself.

If only he could come back to that time and accept the very first family that wanted to adopt him. He was just five, but still aware of whole situation. Whenever an adult comes in and looks like someone who'd adopt, all the kids would jump in their direction and hug them. They'd hang on their legs or climb up to their chest and shout: "Take me! Take me". It was cute for those people, they thought that those kids were playing, but they weren't. They were very serious and thought of it like a life game, fought against each other for that family that just came in, fought for new and better life, for new chance. And young Jackson would always sit in the corner and not pay attention.

First was Badger family. They looked for a calm child who's ready to respect their will for schooling him, and quiet Jackson who stood out, was perfect choice. It has always looked like they (not just Badgers but all families that come in) were buying T-shirt. Like it wasn't a living being, but a thing. Jack was third child they met while they were in ROC and they were instantly thrilled.

"Madam Rose, what's his name?" They asked, after a small chat with him.

"Jackson. Isn't it a beautiful name?"

"Um...yeah. Morris, what do you think of Mark." she turned to her husband asking.

"Whatever." You could see he didn't care.

"Great. Mark is perfect."

"That means you want to adopt him, right? You don't want to see other kids?" Madam Rose asked when Mrs. Badger turned back to Jackson or now, how she named him- Mark.

"No, no. Mark is the best. Aren't you, sweety?"

"I don't want you." he answered coldly and got up.

"Mark, come back here, dear." Mrs. Badger said strictly.

"My name is Jackson, and I don't like you." he said one more time and got out of the room.

"Why didn't you do something?" Mrs. Badger shouted to Madam Rose.

In turn, Madam Rose just sighted and said: