It Was Always You

Past Part 14

1 year later..

Naina's POV..

Dear Diary,

People say that falling in love is something you have no control over, When it happens all you can do is either accept it or runaway from it...

Affection, Infatuation, Crush, Attraction or whatever they call it, are temporary... But Love is permanent...!

Once you fall in love with someone, all you can see is that person, Their happiness, sorrows, smile, tears affect you lot more than even yours, It's a selfless feeling... and lucky are the ones who fall in love and even luckier if they love you back...

Love is a beautiful feeling...It makes you weak, It makes you strong... It defines a part of you... No matter they love you back or not.. but if you truely LOVE them.. you'll be happy in their happiness... either they are happy with you or without you..

How do I know all this ?

It's been almost 4 years, since Arjun left, I feel like a part of me has gone, Initially I thought it's just an attraction, which will fade away as soon as he leaves...

But eventually I realized it's not just an attraction.... It's certainly more than that... I fell in love with him right there when he... kissed me... Though it just happened with the flow, it meant a lot to me, I know it didn't mean anything to him.. because neither of us mentioned about that kiss, and I have promised myself that I will never mention it either, I cannot risk my friendship with him because of a stupid heat of the moment

Although I feel, what I and Arjun have is going to end soon... I feel, no ! I know that Arjun is moving away from me, and it's just me, not anyone else... The Arjun who didn't like changes, he changed himself, he promised that he will be my best friend forever and now he is avoiding me...

I am really certain that he will walk out of our friendship as soon as he returns, and I will be left with my broken heart and loneliness... And this is how I know I have fallen in love, even if he stays away from me... If he is happy, I will be... doesn't matter of it's without me...

I am doomed... I have hopelessly fallen in love, and not just love, one sided love !

I hope I get the strength to bear all this

Love, Naina..

I close the book and keep it inside my bag, wiping my tears...

YES ! Arjun is changed, he indeed is avoiding me... how do I know ? Here's how...

We would skype chat, once in a week, which has stopped from last 8 months, and it's just for me, He talks to Jai, Sid and others...

Actually I am bit relieved that it stopped, because from last 1 year, all he talks about the girl he liked, the college junior he went on a date with, instead of his day in college.

It hurts, but here is nothing I can do about it, I cannot act possessive, I am just his friend afterall...!

Whenever I would see his  face on the screen, My pain eases, he's very happy there ! So am I for him... But all of it has stopped now... 

This year is not good for me... I am clueless about my future, in career as well as with Arjun...

I did get admitted in my desired college, Rads and Sid were with me too, we are inseperable now a days, and now everything about each other, Of course Sid is unaware about My feelings for Arjun...