Living Royalty

23. Where's the fire?!

Samaah's P.O.V

"Arif! Arif! Fajr time! Get up, come on!" I shook Arif's shoulder gently trying to get him to wake up, but he wouldn't budge. "Arif!" I called out louder, but still no response. Goodness, this guy! I went to the bathroom and filled my hand with cold water. I came up to Arif and sprinkled the cold water on his face, which caused him to wake up, startled.

"Where's the fire?!" He yelled, panicking.

"There's no fire, it's time for Fajr," I said, stifling a laugh at his expression.

"The last time someone poured water to wake me up, there was a fire," he said, quietly. "I'd prefer if you don't ever wake me up with sprinkling water. I know many people wake their spouses up for Fajr like that, but to be honest, it awakens some bad memories."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I really didn't know," I said, genuinely apologetic.

"I know you didn't. Anyway, time will run out, we should pray," he replied and I nodded.

After prayers, I couldn't go back to sleep, so I lay in bed facing away from Arif. There's was a fire? I didn't really know about any fire. What happened? Would Arif ever tell me about it? I wanted to know but I didn't want to ask him, because he said that it was something that awakened bad memories. And also, I would be invading his privacy if it was something personal that he wouldn't want to share.

"Can't sleep?" He asked.

Startled, my head snapped to his direction. "You're awake? I thought you went back to sleep!" I said, breathlessly. He had scared me.

He let out a deep chuckle. "Well, no. Not really," he said. I turned my whole body to face him, and the two of us lay in bed, looking at one another.

"How did you know I couldn't sleep?" I asked him curiously.

"I figured," he said simply.

"How?" I pressed.

"You know, you ask a lot of questions," he replied.

"How observant of you. That didn't answer my previous one," I said sarcastically.

"Samaah, when someone takes a look at you, they get the impression that you'd be this really sweet, innocent girl. But woah, how wrong they would be when they get to know you!" He said, lifting his head up and shaking it.

"Is that what you thought when you first saw me?" I asked.

The question caught him off guard. "W-what? You're back to asking questions, huh?" He said, clearly avoiding my question.

"And you know, you don't really like answering my questions," I said.

"Maybe because I don't like being questioned?" He said, raising an eyebrow.

"Hmm...that would make a lot of sense," I replied. We stared at each other for a some time. None of us said anything after that, although I had a million questions for him swimming in my head. But I chose to just live in the moment since we barely had such moments. Moments where Arif and I would talk properly, moments where we would just look at one another and forget everything else that surrounded us. Maybe I hadn't fallen in love with him, maybe I didn't like him...yet, but one thing was for sure, Arif Hamid was growing on me. A few strands of his hair fell on his forehead, something which hardly happened. Without thinking, I reached over and flicked them back up. That action seemed to surprise him, but he quickly composed himself and smirked at me.

"Wow, didn't expect you to do that!" He said.

"Way to ruin the moment," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You actually admitted that we had a moment!" He said, grinning at me.

"And so did you, just now," I pointed out.

"I never denied it in the first place," he said.

"Neither did I," I replied.

We lapsed into silence again. Arif was so handsome, but I wasn't going to inflate his ego by telling him when he had just started improving. His neatly trimmed beard, that was more of a stubble suited him perfectly. His dark hair was always perfect with the exception of a while ago, and his eyes...his eyes were beautiful. I knew he was handsome, but I never admired him till the day that he first taught me archery. And even then, I wouldn't find it so comfortable to stare at him openly. But now, now I was staring at him, and he knew it. But he didn't say anything because he was also staring at me.

Arif and Asif were identical in every aspect, but over the first three months of marriage where we hardly had any communication, I had come to know that the way to differentiate the two was through their postures. Arif would always stand with a very slight slouch and he had a habit of sticking his hands in his pockets. I found it strangely attractive, but always brushed it off. Asif would stand up right completely, with his arms to his sides. Arif would always sit in a more relaxed position, while Asif would sit up right. On several occasions, before I learnt to differentiate the two, I had seen Asif and thought he was Arif, but luckily, since I hadn't started speaking to Arif properly, I wouldn't acknowledge him.

"You know, that fire did a lot of damage to our lives," Arif murmured, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I wasn't sure what to say, so I played it safe. "I'm genuinely sorry for that."

He ignored my apology and went on. "We lost a lot of important people." That shocked me. A loss? Arif had lost people from his life?!

"Ya Allah! Arif, I'm so, so sorry!" I said, my eyes wide.

"Don't be, because I'm not. Why should anyone be sorry over something that wasn't in their control? I've always comforted myself by thinking that it was all Allah's plan," he explained.

"You're very right. But that might bring me to a sensitive topic. With that being your mentality, were you, no, are you sorry about the fact that you had to marry me?" I asked.

He was silent for a while, thinking, pondering over what I had just asked. Then he spoke. "Yes, I was sorry. I'm going to be outright honest with you because as much as we may not be that close, I can see that we're beginning to grow closer. Besides, you're my wife and no relationship deserves to be built on any lies. So yeah, I was sorry. Occasionally, I would feel that maybe if I hadn't shown dad that I was irresponsible, then he wouldn't have got me married. That was something in my control, so I was sorry over it. But am I still sorry? No. No, I'm not," he explained. I couldn't understand the strange, overwhelming feeling of happiness, of relief and satisfaction when he said that he's not sorry anymore about our marriage. I couldn't help and smile.

"What about you?" He asked me.

"I've been upset, in denial, sad and angry. But not sorry over the fact that I had to marry you," I answered.

"Because this wasn't something that happened because of you, right?" He asked.

"Right," I answered.

"I want to let something out now, Samaah. Something that has been eating at me for years now. Something that I can't share with Asif, mum, dad, Aliyah or Asiyah because if I do, it will open their own wounds. Asif knows me inside out and he knows this matter is eating at me, but even he, the one who has always been my right hand, doesn't want to talk to me about this," he told me.

"Then what are you waiting for? Let it out, I'm all ears!" I said.

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What do you think of Ariaah? They're getting closer *winks*

And what do you think Arif wants to tell Samaah?