Do you see yourself in the mirror?

48 6 0
                                    

Evan's POV

There are two selves always present inside you, one that you are and the other... Well it's what the world thinks you are and honestly, I have spent years maintaining a large difference between both of these. 

A world of lies, smoked dreams and delusions if you may say.

I was standing on the door step, still confused if I should tell her or not?

It's a risk in anyway I think of it. The world is still evolving, opening their minds about situations like this but there is still a dark faction living in this world and you can never guess who belongs to which state right now . 

I can't too.

It took me around a year to accept myself, but now I have understood that if I won't understand myself then who will? Erica always used to say "Don't hurt yourself baby, believe in yourself . Hurting is the work of others. Don't burden yourself with their work." 

 I never understood the meaning of this but I think now I do.I have to believe in myself, I have to accept myself , this is the way I am and everyone should accept me in this way only.

Today ,what mum said hurt me. I don't know why but it did. I decided I have to tell others, i don't want to be in the closet and live my life with my emotions caged. I don't want to look back on my teenage and say that I regretted it, i want to live it. Till the end. 

I knew there were tears on my face , arrays of dark lines strolling down my face. I'm feeling so many things right now that describing what these tears are for, is a bit of a struggle to me . I knocked on her door and took her out of her thoughts , she looked at me and I noticed the tension that grew on her face.

 She stood up , came rushing to me "What the hell ? Did mum catch you doing something or what?" 

 I shook my head. And at that exact moment, there was a rush of adrenaline flowing through me, like telling me this is a 'do or die' moment. I've been hiding from so long, this self is starting to feel like a silhouette now and honestly, i think i'm losing a grip at myself now, slowly ebbing into nothing, forgetting why i exist in anyway.

She was worried, I could see the worry on her face... "I want to confess something " , i said quietly .

 "Yes sure"

"I'm gay"

She kept looking at me, staring at me and let me say, her stare was making me uncomfortable but everything changed in a moment when she smiled at me and took me in her embrace , "That's great , just tell me one thing ... why the hell are you crying ?" 

 " I .. I thought you won't accept me " I stuttered out.

 She cocked her head and smiled at me "Do you think I'm this bad? Yeah I don't like to share my chocolates cause I love them... but how can you think I will not accept you? You are my brother.I would have even accepted you if you would have said that you killed someone" , she came forward and hugged me .

 I started laughing thinking about how I was over thinking this all , "what if I did kill someone?" I asked her with a small smile playing on my lips.

 "Well, mhmm then we have to take the body to the tub and wait for the blood to drain out and then... basically seal it in a black bag and throw it." 

 The best plan .

"Planing to be a serial killer sis?" I asked between my laughing fit.

"Well no but... I guess you will", i smacked her as soon as she said this and we both started laughing link and people.

"So you like someone?" , she asked me as we were seeing the stars from her room window, " ummm yeah... I kinda do " I replied hesitantly, "well that's great but just remember one thing, never let him become the biggest part of your life! It may hurt to leave them you know " , she said to me with a sad frown over face . Before I could ask anything she yawned and said " I think it'd time to sleep, stop worrying about things and sleep sound" after saying this she went to her bed, took her light sheet and slept.

I guess I don't need to advice her even find she is sad, she knows how to handle everything .

Erica'sPOV

Well ... well.. well , as said in merchant of Venice - it's easy to give advice but it's difficult to follow it your own . This was happening with me, I asked Evan to not make that person the biggest part of his life but I didn't follow it myself. My life is centred around Will and sometimes I feel crazed up but everytime I see him, his smile just makes me feel content and happy. I want to sleep, lay down and not think about him but that's impossible for me .
He is my drug if I say, I want to be near to him, i wanna hold his hand when he is down, i wanna ruffle his hair when he can't solve a problem and I wanna hold him when he brings the highest marks.

Being frustrated from my thoughts, i switched on my computer and started watching friends ... it was my favourite show, i either watch it or some romantic anime . One hour passed and I closed my laptop after so much of laughing and sat back trying to sleep. I opened my phone to check my messages when I saw a request on Instagram , my heartbeat raised for a moment cause I thought it was Will but it was Presley , his twin brother. He was a very good person, he was funny , he always makes noises in the class to distracte the teacher, he reminds me of Evan sometimes and I always treat him like my brother . I laughed at my over thinking and accepted it, i usually accept requests and Presley was eventually my friend. As soon as I accepted his request, he messaged me a hi, I replied quickly and asked him what he was doing . He replied back that Will is studying so the light is on so.. he couldn't sleep and started using ig . I giggled at this , Will is so ..... good? ... no great!!! It's around 1 and he is studying. Now I know how he gets the highest marks, his mind isn't filled with thoughts like mine .... wow my thoughts , i just wish nobody can read them anytime otherwise they will think I am a stalker or something else. I said Presley a good night and asked him to go to sleep and I myself took my ear buds and started listening to one direction and slept with a grin plastered in my thoughts .

Hey friends,
I hope you like this chapter, i like describing things and I hope you like my type!! Haha.please don't forget to comment , vote and follow, writers get in couraged by them.
Love,
Monxxxx

The True BondWhere stories live. Discover now