Thorns And Roses

Kabanata 13

Kabanata 13

I came home with a heavy heart, nanatiling sumusulyap sa akin si manong sa salamin habang umiiyak ako roon sa likod ng sasakyan.

My heart's been hurting, ang pakiramdam ko ay dinudurog ito sa pinakamaliliit na piraso. I still remember how he raised his voice at me and I was so scared and hurt.

I was such an embarassment! How can I ruin that party?

Sobrang hiyang-hiya sa sarili ko at ayaw ko nang magpakita sa kahihiyan.

Pinahiya ko si Thorn! He probably hates me now, he'll leave me! I knew it!

Gulat na gulat si Yaya pagkapasok ko sa bahay na ganoon ang itsura. Her mouth parted, nabakas ko ang pag-aalala sa mga mata niya roon.

"Anong nangyari, hija?" she asked worriedly, hindi ako umimik at nanatiling humihikbi lang. I saw her looked at manong who only shook his head with a sad face at nang bumaling muli siya sa akin ay nagsalita ako.

"A-ayos lang po ako, pasensya na..." I whispered softly at mabilis na umakyat sa kwarto.

I locked the door and went to the shower, kaagad akong naupo sa gilid ng banyo at hinayaan ang tubig na basain ako habang umiiyak roon.

I thought of all the scenarios I have in mind, the worst in fact.

Maybe, he'll push me away... But maybe, nadala lang siya ng damdamin niya.

Napapikit ako roon at may naisip na naman.

He was mad, he... he never screamed at me like that and that was the most hurtful words I've ever heard. Tanggap ko pa ang masasakit na salita mula sa mga magulang niya, pero ang galing sa kanya ay hindi ko kaya.

Pakiramdam ko ay sobra akong nanghihina. My knees were too weak to even stand up from the shower at nakatulala lang ako sa kulay puting tiles sa banyo.

I was too wasted, I can't feel anything habang iniisip ko ang lahat. Their words, the hatred his parents have for me, ang pagpapahiya ko kay Thorn. His words, si Mayor...

Napasandal ako at wala na sa sarili habang nakatulala roon, my shaking hands were still shaking with fear and cold.

I heard a knock on the door but I did nothing but to stare at it.

"Hija, ayos ka lang?" I heard Yaya's voice. "Tumawag si Thorn, tinatanong kung ayos ka lang ba raw..."

I smiled faintly, shaking my head.

No, I'm not alright...

"Hija?" aniya at muli akong kinatok.

"A-ayos lang po," sagot ko, pilit na pinapanormal ang boses.

"Sigurado ka?" aniya. "Umiyak ka, hija. Nag-aalala na si—"

"Opo, 'Ya..." malakas kong sabi. "H'wag n'yo na lang pong sabihing umiyak ako."

I heard her sigh.

"Kung ano mang problema n'yo ng alaga ko, pag-usapan n'yo 'yan, huh?"

"Opo..." sagot ko.

Nang magpaalam siya paalis ay 'tsaka lang ako nakahinga nang maluwag. I thought that was Thorn, hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko kung sakaling siya nga iyon.

I don't know how I'll talk to him sa kabila ng kagagawan ko. I was so ashamed, dahil sa takot ko ay nagulo ko nang hindi sinasadya ang pinaghandaan nila.

It was supposed to be a successful event but I... I ruined it.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto na balot ng robe, I changed my clothes and rest, I buried my face on my pillow and tried my best to sleep but I found myself crying again.