Kyber Heart - Poe Dameron

Chapter 10

Nova sighed; fists pressed against the smooth expanse of holotable, head and shoulders slumped. Her flight suit hung loose, the top half having been stripped off and secured around her waist by the sleeves. The rushed bun she had tied her hair into was on the brink of unravelling entirely. "You're welcome."

Poe turned to her; arms folded across his chest. "We had it covered."

"Weren't you strictly instructed to 'not engage'?" She copied his stance with a quirked, challenging eyebrow.

"In my defence, they engaged us first."

"You always say that."

"And it's always mostly true! Come on, how many missions have we been on recently where we haven't been engaged?"

"They're certainly getting bolder." Her eyes wandered back to the projected readout, scanning the information again. "If this keeps up, my saving your ass is going to become my full-time job."

"Like it isn't already?"

They shared a knowing look, one that turned into a knowing chuckle.

Their eyes met – gazes having lingered a fraction too long on each other. Another occurrence that had been coming around more frequently as of late. One they had yet to talk about.

One Nova had actively been avoiding talking about for fear of making it real.

Poe licked his lips nervously. "Can we... talk?"

"About...?"

"Yes."

She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head. "Poe..."

"Nova, please just hear me out," he pleaded, carefully wrapping his fingers around her wrist.

The contact was warm, comforting. She did not pull away from it, letting him guide her to face him. With a nod, she forced herself to meet his eye, seeing only hope and compassion reflected there.

"Nova, I really like you. You can't ignore that there is – something – between us. Something that I don't think comes around too often, especially at a time like this. And... I wanna do something about it." His hand slipped from her wrist, weaving his fingers together with hers. "Do you?"

"Yes," she said, her voice just above a whisper, catching in her throat. "But, I can't. We can't." Pulling away from him, she retreated to the other side of the holotable.

"Why?"

She sighed. "It's not that I don't want to," she started carefully – wishing to be kind. "But every day we are getting closer to an all-out war that could destroy us both."

"I know." He followed her to the other side, taking her hand again. "So shouldn't we take every chance that we get like this?"

Nova's head fell to rest against his shoulder. "I can't, Poe... I know it sounds selfish, but I couldn't lose you like that."

"You're not going to lose me. We're going to win this."

"You don't know that!"

"No, I don't," he agreed quietly. "But I have hope. And I still want to try..."

He cradled her face – their foreheads pressed against one another; eyes squeezed shut.

Nova willed herself not to cry. While her heart wanted so much to agree and give it a chance – to have hope – her head refused to surrender. Though she would not admit it, she was scared.

Upon entering the war, she had been given a second chance – a chance to forgive herself for her failures. To be the person she was always destined to be. But as the cold war dragged on, each day the evil growing stronger and bringing them closer to war's most terrible form, deep down she grew less and less hopeful for herself.

She saw no salvation for herself, no happy ending. No hope. And so, she had given up trying. Resigned herself to fate.

Poe's thumb brushed along her cheekbone. "Nova, I –"

"Don't." She covered his mouth with her hand, stopping him mid-sentence. "Please, don't."

He nodded, and she removed her hand, instead holding it against his cheek.

"I'm sorry, but we can't do this. It would be too hard..."

"I understand," he murmured sadly.

Nova wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close.

Poe responded automatically, his arms encircling her waist tightly. He rested his head on her shoulder, feeling her bury her face in his neck.

Her voice was muffled. "I'm sorry..."

He sighed. "It's okay..."

---

The chaos aboard the Millennium Falcon had finally subsided. Now safely in hyperspace, everyone was free to relax somewhat.

Han and Rey had yet to emerge from the cockpit, but the distant sound of warning alarms coming from that direction provided an explanation as to why.

BB-8 remained with Nova. He had tried to offer assistance to Finn in patching up Chewie, but had given up quickly in fear of the Wookiee. He was brave for his protocols, but it was still in a BB unit's nature to be skittish; and being growled at by a seven-foot-tall beast did not help.

Finn had managed to calm Chewie enough to bandage his wound – narrowly avoiding being strangled a few times in the process. His handiwork complete, he retreated, taking a seat around the holo-table beside Nova.

The pilot let out a shaky sigh, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. Her throat was dry. Her fingers were still wrapped around the pendant.

Tentatively, Finn laid a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry about Poe."

Nova looked up at him, offering a pained but reassuring smile – one that barely reached her cheeks. "At least he died raising hell for the Order. Not locked away in some dark cell."

He nodded. "You two seemed very close," he continued, awkwardly dancing around what he really wanted to ask. "Were you two – ya'know?"

"No." She shook her head. "It was uh – complicated. I thought it would make things easier but... it's just as hard..."

Finn nodded, giving her shoulder a comforting squeeze. "He was a good guy."

"You don't know the half of it."

A pause followed, where Nova found the energy to move from the floor, taking a seat next to Finn.

"Hey, uh – thanks for covering for me," he said.

"Don't mention it," she shrugged. "Besides, I didn't exactly lie. You're as good as a member of the Resistance now."

Finn fell silent, looking down at his hands. The notion of being a part of the Resistance still did not sit well with him.

"The jacket suits you by the way," she offered kindly, nudging his shoulder with hers. "Keep it."

He frowned. "You sure?"

"He'd want you to have it."