Kyber Heart - Poe Dameron

Chapter 24

Having been supplied with a change of clothes, a freshly showered Rey sat perched on the end of Nova's bed. The mattress and Resistance issued sheets were nothing like she had ever felt before, so soft and comfortable – though many people who slept in them as often as they could begged to differ.

The room itself was comfortable in size – standard private quarters for a person of Nova's rank. Small enough so one person did not feel lonely, and large enough so two people did not feel cramped together.

A desk stood opposite the single bed, against which Nova leaned, listening as Rey brought her up to speed with the events on the surface of Starkiller Base. She would nod every now and then at any detail that caught her interest. Her face maintained a neutral, thoughtful expression.

Story concluded, Rey glanced to Nova's face, examining her. She was hesitant to change the topic, unsure how the older woman would react to her questions. But her need for answers overruled her anxieties. "You said you'd seen other people like me."

"Yes."

"Can you tell me about them?"

Nova sighed, still trying to collect her thoughts as they flew through her mind, like pieced of debris caught in the winds of a hurricane. At that point, she figured Rey had the right to know.

"Yes," she repeated. "But I'm telling you all this in confidence, alright? Stays between us."

With a curious frown, Rey nodded and waited for Nova to continue.

"I'm not who I let a lot of people think I am," she started. "I'm not just some talented pilot for the Resistance. There's more than I care to admit. I used to be a Jedi – or close enough to one at least. I was there when the new order fell."

Rey leaned forward, elbows digging into her legs. "What happened?"

"I don't know. We woke up, and everything was on fire. We barely had time to grab our sabers before it exploded. But, we made it out. Others weren't so lucky – caught up in the blast and the smoke. But two of us got clear. Me and –" she trailed off. She could not bring herself to say her name without choking. "And he was there. Standing tall in all the destruction."

"Kylo Ren?"

She nodded. "My brother." The word was repulsive, disgusting Nova and shocking Rey. "Now d'you get it?"

"I'm starting to."

"He was changed when I saw him that night. Already too far over the point of no return. He asked me to join him. I don't know why. I would have been no use to him. He was the next Chosen One, and I couldn't compete. We fought, and I escaped. I lost..." she swallowed, forcing herself to finish the sentence. "He killed the girl I loved. Right in front of me."

Rey's expression softened and fell in sympathy.

"He left me with nothing but my broken saber. And this." She tugged her flight suit loose, pulling it down to reveal what she could of her scar. "If we didn't see eye to eye before, we certainly don't now."

She stopped, considering the next part of her story. Choosing her words and the details with care. "Then I... disappeared. Went on the run in the Outer Rim. Tried to forget everything. Didn't work."

She sighed; teeth digging into her cheek once more. Three years of running. Burying her pain deep down – it only got in the way of doing what she had to do to survive. Letting the survivor's guilt fester until it began to hollow her out.

"Eventually, my mother figured out how to find me. Brought me back, gave me something to fight for."

The phrase was not exact. While she fought for the greater good, there was not much else. She fought because after all that time it was the only thing she knew how to do. For her, life was not about living, but merely surviving. And truth be told, she had yet to stop running.

Pausing again, she took a second to consider Rey, gauging her reactions. She found the younger woman doing the same back to her.

"Come with me." She seemed on the verge of pleading; still holding out hope her request would not be futile.

Nova shook her head. "No. It's not my journey to take. Not anymore."

"Why not?"

"Rey, the lightsaber called to you. I don't know much about the workings of the Force, but I understand that that means something. It has to. It's not a saber with a boring history." She took a seat beside her on the bed. "Maz told you that it's been through two generations of my family. If it was my path, don't you think it would have called to me?"

She hung her head, sighing in defeat. "I don't want to go alone."

"You won't be. Chewie and Artoo will be with you. You couldn't wish for more capable companions." Glancing at her friend's face, she read the disappointment etched into her features. Her words had provided her with some comfort, but it still was not enough – Nova had still refused her.

"Look, even if I was called to go, I can't. I can't leave my mom. Not after she's lost my dad and her son. And... other people need me – the Resistance."

"Your pilot friend?" Rey raised a curious, teasing eyebrow. She saw the way he had been looking at her – friendship was not a strong enough word. She had seen something else. The same desire to protect and keep near, much like Finn's for her, but stronger. Much stronger.

Nova straightened her posture. "From a professional standpoint, yes. My Commander needs me more now that we're down so many pilots."

Her choice of words made Rey smile, though she tried to hide it by looking at her hands. She noted that Nova was not as skilled at lying as she would like, which in the case of her and Poe, was correct. It was a lie Nova could not even convince herself of, let alone convince anyone else on base, old or new.

Nova narrowed her gaze at her. "I mean it. Our relationship is... strictly professional. It has to be."

"Okay." Rey nodded. She did not believe her, but decided she had interrogated the woman enough for one day.

A change of subject was once more in order.

"You can have my bed tonight," the pilot said in a decided manner. No room for argument.

"What about you?"

"I'll make other arrangements," she shrugged. "I can take the floor, but if you don't want me in here, I can make other arrangements. It's fine."

"Nova, I can't kick you out of your own room."

"You're not. I'm abdicating it to you for the night. Gods know you deserve a comfortable night's sleep."

Rey laughed, a soft and melodic sound. "Fine. If you insist, you can have the floor."

Nova smiled. "Okay. Let's go get some food. Heads up, it's nowhere near as good as the stuff Maz was able to give us."

"Believe me, I won't notice."

The women shared another laugh as they left for the mess hall; the door to Nova's room sliding shut behind them with a hiss and a click.