Energizer

four

The new day rose quickly with the sun, creating a warm light that trespassed right through my curtains. It was unusually quiet outside, no children or cars. The children next door are almost always up at the crack of dawn playing video games and screaming. I could only hope they were away on vacation. Getting out of bed was a daunting task, my body was aching and I still felt as if I barely slept an hour. After hauling my body out of the sheets, I slowly walked into the bathroom. My eyes were so blurry and I was sweating. In the midst of my slight discomfort, I remembered the conversation from last night. Today was the day I say hello to the new neighbor. In the back of my mind I realized that I didn't have to say hi to him, but I wanted to. Stupid little things like this cause me to jump back and forth between decisions. I mean, I'm just going to give him some delicious fruit salad as a welcome gift and introduce myself.

In preparation, I stood in front of the mirror, looking into my own eyes.
"Geez, it's like i'm preparing to ask this man out," I said and smirked, adjusting my shirt before bringing my eyes back to meet my own in the mirror.
"Hi, I just wanted to say here's some fruit salad and welcome to the hood," I laughed at myself, slightly embarrassed, shaking my head as I took a deep breath.
"That was way off. Let's try again. Hello, welcome to the neighborhood. Here's some fruit salad. Do you need some help? I'm Air by the- I mean, I'm Ari by the way," My hand reached up to my face, giving my cheek a little smack as I sighed hard. 
"Whatever, I'll just play it by ear."

---

Outside, the air felt warm but the breeze was cool. This was my favorite type of weather, besides rain. 
I sat down on the porch, but nothing was happening today. The moving van didn't make an appearance and I was painfully bored. Thoughts started spinning in my mind, and I suddenly remembered my mother's inconvenient call from last night. I pulled my phone from my pocket, swiping the call back option. The phone rang for what felt like forever.
"Hello. It's about time you called. I was getting worried. I haven't spoke to you since last Tuesday!" My mother sounded annoyed and tired, and I could relate. That was my normal mood.
"I'm sorry mom, I just needed time to myself, really."
My eyes were scanning around from tree to tree, house to house as I concentrated on my call.
"I'm sorry for bringing that up at dinner. Your father wanted me to. If you're not ready for something, you're old enough to make your own decisions," My mom calmly said through the phone. I could hear the remorse in her voice. In the back of my mind, I knew that topic was brought up for the sole purpose of me admitting I'm gay to them.
"I'm sorry too for blowing up. I didn't mean to," I rolled my eyes since she couldn't see me through the phone, taking a deep breath in.
"Alright, hun. I'll talk to you soon. I have to take your father to his dentist appointment and then head over to the shops for the 11 AM sale today," She said with a hint of excitement lingering in her voice towards the end.
We exchanged goodbyes, and my mom hung up. What a great conversation, I sarcastically thought. The neighbor still didn't arrive to his new house, so I headed inside to finish the painting from what seemed like weeks ago.

This painting, in particular, made me very happy.
While I was at the coffee shop a few weeks back, a small, dark haired woman approached me and asked if I was the one who painted the canvases sold at the mom and pop shop down the road. She must have saw me at the store unloading canvases, because if she didn't, I'd probably consider her a stalker. 
Anyway, she asked to sit down with me and I immediately granted her permission. By this point, her face was very distraught and she looked like she hasn't slept in the past few days - even weeks. I noticed her eyes right away, because they were a beautiful and unique shade of green and orange. 
As we sat, the woman introduced herself as Kat. I didn't bother ask if she way okay because people will say they're okay and lie about it. Wasted breath.
Kat continued on, and started talking about her daughter named Maya. Maya is five years old and is diagnosed with Leukemia. As part of her wish, Maya wanted a painting done of her backyard. 
Kat pulled a small, crumpled piece of paper out of her pocket, spreading it flat on the table. 
On the paper, several words were sloppily written down. These words included, "Big blue barn, my brown swing set with the red swings, the green grass, the sunset with a few stars and moon, my yellow hula hoop, and me and daddy and mommy." Kat explained that these were the words Maya chose to describe the painting of her backyard she wanted me or anyone else to paint.
Kat asked if I would mind painting their backyard, as Maya missed watching the sunset at home. Maya said the sunset wasn't as pretty at the hospital. Kat said that she would hang the painting up in her daughter's hospital room, and if I wanted to, I could go with to deliver the painting and meet Maya. 
Of course, I couldn't deny.
I usually don't like to please people, but how could I say no to Maya.
Inside the house, the canvas was the same as I left it a few nights ago. It was half colored, begging to be finished.
I'll admit, I did feel bad for getting drunk while painting this canvas purely because of where it was going. What if Kat asks, "Oh thank you! How did the process go?"
I'd respond with, "Ha, pretty good. Blacked out drunk for the first part."
Truth: I am a pretty horrible person with a low tolerance level. I just want someone who can tolerate me. Sometimes I refer to myself as a selective asshole. 

As the afternoon slowly turned into evening, I saw the neighbor's car drive by in a very bored attempt to count the number of shingles on the houses across the street. This was my chance. 
I did a bit of stalking from my window before deciding the coast was clear and he was inside. I grabbed my trusty fruit salad and headed out the door. 
His lights were on as I approached the porch, pressing the doorbell.
He opened the door, a half smile on his face.
I noticed how adorable his smile was, and the way his messy black hair fell into his eyes as he opened the door. He stepped onto the porch, pushing his hair back from his eyes. He looked a bit confused. 

"Oh.. hey?" He said, closing the door behind him.
"I, uh, just wanted to say welcome to the neighborhood, I guess. Here's some fruit salad as a welcome gift. I'm Ari, by the way," My left hand awkwardly shot out for a handshake, and neighbor man smiled in response as his hand gripped mine, giving a firm shake. 
"Here's some fruit salad. I'm sorry if this is a bad time or something," My right hand held out the fruit salad while my left hand dropped back to my side. I tried my best to look anything but nervous.
"Oh, no, this is a perfect time. I just stopped by to arrange some small things... I've still got a long way to go," He smiled, grabbing the salad then nodding towards the door, "Come inside, I don't mind."
I followed his lead, stepping inside the almost naked house. 

"Wow, I've always wanted the end house. I'm three houses down, between an old lady and a bunch of kids. One shy from the end house," I said while trying to make my voice sound less shaky than before.
My hands moved to my front pockets as I continued to follow him into the kitchen, my eyes checking out every aspect of the new house. No, I didn't check him out too. 
"Well, I'm sure it'll be nice here. I've heard good things -- oh my gosh, I haven't introduced myself yet. I"m so sorry! I'm Marcus," His half smile quickly turned into a full smile before placing the fruit inside the fridge, next to a whole container of deviled eggs. He quickly pivoted around to stand in front of me again.
"Wow, who gave you all those eggs?" I glanced to the side, quickly adding, "Oh man, that was a dumb question." 
Marcus laughed, leaning against the fridge once he closed it. 
"I believe it was from that old lady you speak of. Elizabeth?"
I nodded, chuckling quietly.
"Only she would give you a party-sized platter of deviled eggs."
Marcus smiled once again at my comment, nodding as he looked at the ground briefly.

"Hey, I passed you the other day on my walk. I needed to clear my head, and I'm sorry if that comment was a bit much. I didn't know what I was saying, and it sort of made me jealous. You're in a relationship?" Marcus reached his arm around, grabbing the back of his neck. He suddenly looked a bit sad, a bit jealous. Must be an actor.
"Oh, no no no. He's an ex, I'm not sure what my problem was that day either," I shrugged, watching Marcus's facial expressions as I thought back to what a mistake that day was. 
"So are you, uh, gay?" Marcus peeked up at me, making direct eye contact as he spoke. I could tell this question was hesitant, but I realized he had some evidence to ask.
"Yeah, I am," I nodded, my eyes fixated on the floor. 
"Wow, I am so sorry. This is kind of awkward," Marcus dropped his arm only to bring it up to his face again, rubbing his eyes before speaking,
"I kind of miss having a relationship. Like, what you and that dude were doing, is what I want.," He sighed, sticking his hand in his front pocket, "I want to be happy with someone. I can't tell my parents that I'm gay because they will flip out. I- I'm sorry again for dumping this all on you, wow, I am really sorry." 
I studied the way Marcus talked, watching his cheeks turn a light pink as he spilled this story to me on the first night we've ever met. 
"You're fine, don't be sorry at all. I should probably be going.. I have something I need to finish," 
I sort of felt bad saying that, because the company was actually pretty nice. But, Maya's painting stuck in the back of my mind.
"Okay, I'll walk you out. Thanks for the food, I'll be pretty busy unpacking but please stop by anytime you want. It was nice having someone to talk to," 
Marcus smiled again. I wondered if he really meant all those smiles or if they were just a cover up.
"Likewise. Well, minus the unpacking and food part," I nervously added, although I was calmed down much more than when he first answered the door. 
Marcus held the door as I stepped outside.
"See you later," I smiled, waving as I walked off the porch. He waved in return.
Once my back was turned to him, I mouthed the words "wow", my eyes growing as large as the moon.

---

"Elana, I met him. He's gay. He's adorable. He seemed interested in a relationship-"
Elana started blabbering over the phone about how I should go after him.
"Of course I'm not going to hit on him yet! I just met the guy!"
She continued to persuade me, but I'm not easily persuaded.
"Shut up, nerd. I'll flirt as I please."

 ---

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