Energizer

sixteen

"Please, please stay with me," I frowned and kept my hand intertwined with his. "I suppose, just one more night," Marcus smiled and slipped his arms around my waist, pulling me into his chest. He smelled good, as always. I nuzzled my face against his chest and closed my eyes. I loved his familiar smell.
"Let's go," Marcus started to back up towards my bedroom, resting his chin on my shoulder.
I laughed quietly as we tried to keep our balance throughout the short trip to my bed.
I fell down onto my bed and checked my phone. A lock screen full of missed calls and texts. I ignored them as I saw Marcus start to lay down on top of me.
He curled up against my chest. My mind warped back to his 'wedding', when I woke up and fell right back to sleep with him on my chest. I remembered how secure and safe I felt. Butterflies filled my stomach as I kept thinking how amazing things are now that we are together. Our first kiss at the hospital. The semi awkward way we first met.
Now, I know everything about him.
He drinks his coffee black in the mornings.
He enjoys cooking.
He enjoys cooking but he is really messy.
He sleeps on the right side, I sleep on the left side.
He's a cover hog.
When he's tired, he mumbles on about nothing.
"Babe?" I saw Marcus's sleepy eyes meet mine, "I'm so happy we can be together."
I could tell by his voice; he was dead tired.
I rubbed his back soothingly, whispering, "Me too. Go to sleep."
Just like a lightbulb, he was out.
I examined his face, pushing some of his hair out of his closed eyes. My finger lightly traced his features. People are so innocent while sleeping.
My hand picked up my phone and I saw most of my messages were from Elana.
I ignored them.
Instead, I shut the light off, pulling the covers over our bodies.

In the morning, I woke up, a leg over my stomach and the covers completely off of my body. To my side, I saw Marcus sound asleep with the covers in a perfect burrito around him.
I kissed his cheek softly and sat up on the end of the bed, stretching before walking into the living room. Looking at my easel, I started to get a longing feeling in my stomach. Not so much a rush of inspiration, but a feeling of forgetfulness. I picked up my paintbrush and ran my pointer finger over the uniform, soft bristles. I started to paint.
It was a picture of a lake with some abandoned cabins and boats.
I liked this one a lot, but I couldn't exactly tell why.

"Goodmorning," Marcus's groggy voice emerged from the kitchen. I heard the coffee machine brew as he leaned against the counter, yawning loudly.
"Unfortunately, I have to go back to my own house today. It's been good company, though,"
Marcus sat down next to me, grinning slightly as he watched me pout my lower lip out.
"I need more of your company,"I dropped my brush down onto the newspaper spread, giving him the puppy dog look.
"Oh, stop," Marcus squeezed my cheeks together, turning me into a fish.
He stood up and walked away, pouring himself a mug of coffee, sitting back down to watch me paint.
He watched in silence for about two hours, occasionaly checking his phone or playing a game. He stood up afterwards, kissed the back of my neck, and walked out the door.
That was all. I was wondering the whole time when he was going to leave, or why he was watching me paint for so long.
A feeling of sadness rushed through my body. I felt like crying, even though it was only a minute without him.
I walked back into my room and curled up in my covers which smelled like him. My eyes were tired and strained from painting. This couldn't be love, but whatever it was, I was suddenly going through withdrawal.
I called Elana.
"Where the hell have you been?!" She exclaimed into the phone.
"Here. Busy," I said solemnly.
"What's wrong?"
"Me and Marcus are dating. Nothing is wrong except he just left," I explained to her.
I heard noises in the background, someone yelling her name over and over. She wasn't listening.
"Elana?" I asked to try and gain her attention.
The phone line lost reception, and I threw it onto the floor.
"Whatever," I mumbled.
I went outside to smoke. The sun blinded me and the heat was probably baking me like a cookie in the oven.
Marcus was gone. Maybe he went shopping or something.
As I lit my cigarette, my mom pulled up to the curb.
"Put that away!" She shouted while getting out of the car.  She didn't bother to put up the windows, either.
She slammed the door shut and glared at my cigarettes.
"Sorry mom," I shrugged and continued on with my routine and my cigarette.
"Where's your boyfriend?" She looked down at me with concern.
"He left earlier. His car isn't down there so he probably did errands or something," I just shrugged.
"I came to say hello," Mom forced a smile. I nodded in return, knowing that her smile was fake.
"Not too much happening," I said. This was awkward. My mom would never stop by like this before.
"Your dad also says hello, he's out golfing with some friends," Mom cracked a real smile this time.
"Hm, he doesn't strike me as the golfing type." I threw my cigarette onto the ground and crushed it with the sole of my shoe.
"That's gross, Ari," My mom stepped off of the sidewalk, like the whole thing suddenly got contaminated.
"Get over it," I groaned under my breath, remembering that time brunette said the same thing, "There's worse things in this world."
"Ari, don't be rude. I'm sure your boyfriend doesn't like you smelling like an ashtray."
Her comment made me burst out with laughter, "He never said anything about my cigarette addiction. He likes me just the way I am. Don't assume."
My mom shifted her eyes back to the lone cigarette on my sidewalk, "I'm a mother, I worry. It's my job."
"Well don't," I rolled my eyes and hoped she would leave soon. I also hoped Marcus would come back soon.
"Alright, I guess I'll just continue on my way." My mom started to walk back to her car. She probably had a sale at the mall to attend.
"Later," I gave a small wave, quickly turning around to head inside. I shut and locked the door behind me, since Marcus says I always leave my door unlocked.
Not this time.

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I started to miss Marcus, I haven't heard from him in a very long time.
Well, more like a day.
His car never came back.
I watched the whole day, it never came back.
3 messages failed to receive a response.
Another day passed.
And another.
And a few more.
I was starting to turn to alcohol again, isolating myself from everyone else because I was upset and slightly angry he wasn't answering me. It's not fun being rejected by someone so close to you. What makes it worse, is that this isn't the same kind of rejection my mom had towards me when I first told her I was gay. This rejection stuck to you like molasses, lingered in your skin and on your hair no matter how hard you scrub. This type of rejection was unknown.
He could be halfway across the country right now.
I tried not to think about it too much.

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Thank you for reading!

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