SLOW BURN

19. i don't want to

Brad turns the knob and pushes the door again. Josh sighs in annoyance then grabs the door and keeps it open just enough for him to be seen. I hide behind the door like a coward.

"What the fuck do you want?" Josh hisses.

"Who are you in there with?"

"That is none of your business. What do you want?"

"Have you seen Natalie?"

I turn my head to look at Josh. He clenches his jaw making it look like he couldn't care less about Brad's question. "No. Is that all?"

"Lock the door next time," I hear Brad say before walking away.

Josh shuts the door and locks it this time. Why didn't we think to do that earlier?

"Oh God," I say letting out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. That was way too close. How could I have been so careless? I reach down and grab my blouse and Josh's shirt. I hand it to him and put mine on.

"It's fine. He didn't see you." Josh tells me.

I shake my head. "I shouldn't be here. We shouldn't be here. What the hell were we thinking?"

"Natalie, calm down. It's okay."

"No, it's not." I turn to look at him. "Josh, your parents are here! And your coworkers. They could have all found out about this!" I shake my head. "We can't be around people. What the hell is wrong with us?"

"Nothing is wrong with us," Josh says grabbing my arm. "Just calm down, alright?"

"We shouldn't see each other when we're around people." I tell him. "I-I should go."

I walk past him out of the room. There's no one in the hallway and I make my way back to the dining room quickly to get my purse. I purse my lips, hoping they're not as swollen as they feel and my face isn't as flushed.

"Nat, I was looking for you, where were you?" Brad asks when he sees me.

"In the bathroom," I say reaching for my purse. "I'm actually gonna head out."

"Already?" Louisa asks. "Everything alright?"

I nod and notice Crystal walking into the room. "Yeah. I'm just tired and I have work tomorrow. Thank you so much for inviting me, Louisa."

"Oh, sweetie, of course." She hugs me. "You know you're family to us."

I gulp the knot in my throat. It's a knot of tears. Tears of guilt. "Thank you." I choke out.

We pull away and I see Josh walking in. He looks angry and I feel bad. I know I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. It's not his fault. I'm just angry with myself. I'm so weak when I'm around him. He consumes me. It makes me irresponsible.

"Oh look who it is," Brad says and I wince knowing what's coming. "Should we tell everyone what you were doing in one of the rooms?" He places his hand on Josh's shoulder and Josh shrugs it off angrily. Brad laughs obviously enjoying this. He's got everyone's attention now and I know he's not going to let this go. "My big brother here was smashing someone in there."

I look down unable to meet Josh's gaze. I feel so bad.

"So?" Brad presses. "Who was the lucky lady?"

"That's enough, Brad." Clint scolds disapprovingly.

"Oh come on. Y'all always judge me when I do this exact thing! Why shouldn't Josh here get the same treatment?"

I gulp. I can't stand here listening to this. I need to say something. There's a moment of silence while I work up the courage to say something. I finally open my mouth to tell everyone that it was me but before I say anything, Crystal stands up. "Not that it's any of your business, Brad, but it was me. Are you happy?"