SLOW BURN

27. unofficial boyfriend

"Oh my God, Natalie, I've been waiting for you."

I take a deep breath as I close the apartment door and then turn around and smile at Cassie who is propped on the couch. "Hey, Cassie, what's up?"

I was dreading coming home for this very reason. I knew Cassie would want to talk about what happened yesterday with Josh. I was hoping she would be working but of course, she's home.

"What's up?" She asks, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "You're kidding, right? I can't believe you knew Josh all this time!"

"Right," I said slowly. "Yeah, that's pretty crazy, right?"

"He's the guy I told you about last time, do you remember? The summer fling four years ago? It was Josh! I can't believe he's Brad's brother. I don't know how I didn't think he looked familiar. They look alike now that I think about it."

"I figured." I try to smile feeling very uncomfortable.

"I'm still in shock. I never thought I was going to see him again but I'm so glad I did. It's like destiny, don't you think? This is too much of a coincidence."

She's so excited. It makes me feel guilty about everything. I don't really know what to say. I try to put myself in her shoes. If I had a summer fling and I fell in love with the guy. I imagine thinking that I was never going to see him again and then one day years later, he appears at my doorstep like magic. When I think about it, yes, it does seem like destiny. That would be one side of the coin. The other side is the real reason Josh appeared on her doorstep.

"Yeah, it's kind of crazy isn't it?" I say taking a seat next to her because I know she's not going to let this go so I might as well get this conversation over with.

"Josh told me you guys have known each other since high school?" She asks.

I nod. "Yeah. We were best friends. I met Brad through him."

"So crazy! So you know how amazing he is right?" She smiles ear to ear. "He's so kind and caring and hot, of course. I still remember the nights that we spend together. They were unforgettable."

I try not to show any emotion but it feels like she just stabbed a knife in my chest. Unwanted images of her and Josh are rushing through my mind. I want to stand up and go into my room or go anywhere where I won't have to see her. It's so crazy to think that I considered her my friend and she still is-but there is something in between us now and I'm not sure I can look past it. The worst part is that she is so oblivious to what is happening. If only she knew that the man I said I was having amazing sex with the other day is Josh.

She grabs my hand. "Tell me, is he seeing someone right now?"

I clear my throat. "Uh-I don't think that's for me to tell, Cassie. Why don't you ask him?"

She smiles shyly. "You're right, sorry. I wanted to ask him last night but I didn't want to seem too desperate. I'll ask him next time I see him."

I look at her. "You're seeing him again?"

"I hope so." She sighs dreamily. "Josh is something else, Nat. What we had was special and I know we still have it. I felt it the moment we saw each other again."

I force my lips into a smile. "That's-great."

"You guys still hang out, right?"

"Yeah, we work out together," I say casually.

"You probably know him better than me, what do you think? Any advice on what I can do?"

Wow. This is painful.