emo band texts // emo quartet au

// 098

BULLSHIT I FUCKING HATE NEW ENGLAND WHY IS THE HUMIDITY LEVEL SO FUCKING HIGH ???? 90 FUCKING PERCENT ????? MY FRIENDS LITTLE BROTHER GOT KILLED IN NEWARK NJ BUT THE FUCKIN HUMIDITY IS 6% LESS TIME TO GO

–

I was on a call with mai but my power decided to go out and now I'm just ,,,, sitting here in my room ,,,, with no AC ,,,, and no Mai ,,,,

-
1:26 PM / 13:26
-

I laid in my bed with my arms and legs splayed across the mattress. I stared up at the ceiling, my eyes darting around at the individual grains that stuck to the paint. I was insanely bored, and I considered texting Mikey. Then I remembered that we broke up. I groaned.

I'm so fucking stupid, why would I do that?

Why did I do it, why the fuck did I do it?!

I mean...

I cheated on him too.

And it's not like he is Ryan.

Ryan's just a fucking ass–y mole rat.

I was now curled up into a ball, my nails digging into my skin as I forced myself to relive the guilt.

I looked out my window.

Mikey didn't go to school either.

I sighed, looking through my window as I watched Mikey pace around his room.

I then shifted my eyes slightly to the left through Gerard's window to see the lemon himself sitting on his bed, an acoustic guitar on his lap and some sort of writing utensil I couldn't make out in his hand as he wrote down something into his notebook. I then shifted my eyes back over to Mikey's window.

[im watching Anthony Fantano its literally 12:36AM/00:36 and my nostrils are burning as if there's water up my nose ???]

After a few minutes, Mikey looked through his window at me before flipping me off and angrily shutting his curtains.

I sighed loudly and over–dramatically.

I'm such a fucking idiot.

Jesus Christ, I should invite Halsey over just to smash my bass over my head.

-
mikey
-

I paced restlessly across my room, kicking at the things on the floor that got in my way, mostly just comic books and crumpled up homework.

After a while, my brother popped his head into my room which snapped me out of my... state.

"Dude, you're practically stomping in here, and something in here is being thrown around very aggressively." Gerard hissed.

I kicked a stray crumpled ball of paper at him halfheartedly.

"I'm not throwing anything. Now get out and return to your dumbass singing and your dumbass song so I can sulk in peace," I growled at the older boy. Gerard flinched as the paper hit him in the shin.

"No, I'm not going to leave you alone, because you've literally been doing this for 2 fucking hours."

"And?" I challenged. I turned away from him and began my apparently "aggressive" pacing once again. "What are you gonna do about it?"

Suddenly, I felt a strong grip on my shoulders, turning me around and I abruptly stopped moving.

"Mikey. This is unhealthy. You can't keep thinking about it."

I scoffed, "Who said I was thinking about it?"

Gerard cocked an eyebrow as he stared straight through my soul.

I let out an groan, rolling my eyes. "Okay, fine. You caught me," I sighed as I sarcastically waved my hands. "So what if I was... lingering on it a bit?"

"You've been lingering on it for the past few weeks," Gerard stated, "and you need to stop." He tightened his grip on my shoulders.

"Why are you even home? Shouldn't you be at school?"

Gerard sighed, "for some reason I care about your dumb ass, so I'm on suicide watch until you actually go back to school."

"Now, you need to stop thinking about (Y/N)."

I shrugged his hands off. "You can't tell me what to do. This is my mistake, and so I'm gonna handle it the way I want to handle it. "I frowned, "Why're you getting so worked up over it anyways?"

"Because I'm your fucking brother, Mikey. Or did you forget that?" Gerard said.

"Sometimes I wonder if you've forgotten." I muttered under my breath.

"What was that?" Gerard asked, narrowing his eyes.
I turned away from him.
"Nothin'."

Gerard threw up his hands in defeat. "Fine. Be a fucking stubborn ass. When I come back you better not be dead on the floor."

"Sure, sure." I muttered as he stormed out of my room, slamming the door behind him.

I stared at the door for a moment before absentmindedly walking over to it.

I leaned my head against it and let out a deep sigh.

I felt the feeling of self—loathing bubbling up inside me. I clenched my teeth as I closed my eyes.

"I need you (Y/N), I need you so badly." I muttered through clenched teeth.

I closed my eyes and I saw memories of me and (Y/N) from before shit hit the fan. I softly banged my head against the door.

Why did I have to go and ruin everything? Why did I do it, why did I do it?

And before I knew it I was wallowing in my guilt again.

-
(Y/N)
-

"(Y/N)!" Brendon shouted, opening the door to my room as I groaned, sitting up and looking at the -slightly- taller boy. "What the fuck do you want," I looked at him with dead eyes, and a dull expression.

"You want anything to eat?" He offered as I laid back down, groaning. "I'm not hungry, I just wanna sleep."

Brendon sighed, leaning against the doorframe, "are you okay? Like, actually? Because it's not healthy to not eat for weeks straight and just sleep and cry, you know."

"Just go away, Brendon," I said, muffled once I pulled the black and white checkered duvet over my head.

"Fine, you better not be dead the next time I come in here though."

"I can't promise that."

"I'm serious, (Y/N)."

"I'm not joking."