Elements of Fire

9. Of Honour and Conscience

She met her husband the next time at night during dinner. They didn't talk much. Karna just made a few enquiries about how he was settling and if she had any problems. She again suppressed her questions remembering what he said about gossips spreading and there were too many servants around them.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------She was left with taking off her garments and her churamani and earrings when a servant came in announcing Karna's intention of entering. She asked her to allow him but was nevertheless a bit taken aback. She hadn't expected him this soon.

"But he can't force you to do anything. He is a gentleman and moreover you are born of fire. But this is also his right. He has saved you from a deplorable plight. You have to..."

So tormented was her mind and so busy were her hands frantically putting on the ornaments again that she didn't notice when her husband had entered and gestured to the maids to leave.

"Draupadi" he called to her authoritatively yet gently "Why do you think I am here?"

"To claim your conjugal rights" she replied trying not to sound scared.

"hhuunn" he chucked to himself "Do you think when at your swayamvara I did not protest when I had every right to because my sense of honour wouldn't permit me to force an unwilling woman into marriage, today I would stoop so low?"

She was baffled. Somehow him referring to the swayamvara stung and she knew he subtly implied her behavior then when he talked about stooping low.

"Draupadi you are correct when you say that this is my right. I now do have some rights over you and so do you. But I also believe that rights are not to be exploited and there is a right time to claim ones rights."

"I agree Angraj Karna" was all she could reply while she was indeed impressed by his view.

"Draupadi I came here today because I didn't want to disrespect you by not coming and also because I observed you had several things you wanted to talk to me about but were suppressing. I will now try to allay all doubts and fears that you may express to me now."

"Angraj I ...I ..."

"Panchali" he spoke softly. She noticed he used that name only in affection and tenderness "we cannot hope for any peace in this marriage if we don't make an effort leave alone love."

She gasped slightly surprised at his statement.

"Yes. I had always hoped to marry for love and still hold on to that hope. If we try who knows it might not turn into a vain hope"

"Angraj Karn I sincerely hope our expectations of each other don't cause rift"

Never before had she fallen short of words.

"Panchali tell me what's on your mind. You must be thinking of something"

"Angraj Karn what you have done for me is unparalleled. No one would have done so. You knew the implications and consequences of this wedding yet you undertook it when-"

"I didn't do this for gratitude. I had to uphold the voice of my conscience. That is all"