Somebody to hold t.h.

Chapter Thirty Four

Evie's mental state was getting worse day by day. Her anxiety only growing, panic attacks haunting her everyday or night. It happened so often Evie would just be waiting for them once she woke up. Both Haz and Liz were completely alarmed. Tom wasn't any better though. They both looked like walking zombies, dark puffy eyes from not sleeping or crying, Evie getting thinner day by day because she avoids eating when he is home as often as she can. He noticed this though so he forced himself to spend even more time at the gym. Even though he has gotten a lot more muscular and fit, he's never looked so unhealthy in his life.

This situation was killing the both of them. Yet whenever they would meet at work or in the kitchen they'd both force out a painful smile and pretend they were fine.

Evie was needier than ever so she spent a lot of time with her friends and even though they were trying their hardest to give her all the physical attention they could by hugging her or giving her little massages it wasn't enough. She hated feeling like this.

So she decided to finally pull herself together. In order to do that she took a few days off and went back home to her girl friends, her parents and Jake. Even though she managed to refresh there and feel a sense of her old and healthy self come back, Tom was still on her mind daily. It was only Jake that noticed something was up though.

"Evie please talk to me. You look like your are ill. What happened to you?", he finally pushed after seeing her avoid the topic the whole time they've spent together cuddling on her old bed.

"It's stupid."

"It's not stupid if it affects you that much."

"It's Tom. I've been happier than I've ever been since I moved in with him but then-", she had to stop herself because she was crying again. "One day out of nowhere he said that we should just be friends and roommates and that he doesn't like my neediness and that I made him uncomfortable.", she choked out full on sobbing now. Jake immediately pulled her closer to his chest, jawline locked. He understood immediately that Tom was anything but uncomfortable by Evie's touch. He was scared.

"Now that's a load of crap. Evie that boy is scared. Not uncomfortable."

"What would Tom have to be scared about?". she asked confused not comprehending that someone as powerful and strong as Tom would have to fear anything.

"His own feelings. I bet that's the only thing that can scare him in this entire world."

Evie didn't ask what he meant by that because she didn't want to talk about him anymore. Instead she was planning on getting back on track and be all okay again once she returns.

And she actually managed to pull that off. When she returned she was even able to send him a fake smile and talk about her trip lightheartedly, ignoring her hurting heart. At work she was able to fully throw herself into her tasks pretending she wasn't looking out for him at every second. At nights though she couldn't pretend any longer. That's when the tears come back and she cries into her pillow trying her best to be as quiet as possible but Tom still heard. It was confusing him.

When she returned looking all happy and even talked to him he assumed she'd finally gotten over it and moved on. Even though his selfish heart was breaking at that thought he was also happy for her, that's what he really wanted for her. When she was okay during the days, why wasn't she during the nights? It doesn't make any sense.

Tom being as inexperienced as one could be when it comes to feelings tried to talk himself out of them. He really tried to get back on track. In order to finally stop himself from constantly having her on his mind he decided it would be a good idea to spend time with other women. That was something he hadn't done since he met Evie.