Callie Reeves is a perfectionist. She has control over everything from her friends to her grades, the cheerleading squad she captains and anyone inbetween - even when it comes to dating.
After creating a list of rules to keep her no-strings attache...
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After yesterday went quite disastrously Sam and I haven't spoken since. He chatted with his grandma while she cut his hair but my inner turmoil took ahold and I couldn't break free.
It felt like I've been trapped in a box that gets smaller and smaller with every string he pulls. Even if he doesn't realize it.
I thought it was a turn on that he was manipulative. Maybe towards others but pressuring me was the wrong way to go.
"You've been quite quiet today?" Mrs Bolton breaks the silence and seems to pull me out from the worrying thoughts.
"I was thinking about my future," I start and rub my lips together, tasting the lipstick with a frown. "Or rather what I want it to be."
She hums. "I thought you were aware of your goals?"
"I am. I know what I want to do after high school and the degree I want. The job. It's always just been that though," I glance up and see her sit back, waiting for me to continue. "I think the guy I've recently started dating sees us together beyond that and it scares me . . . so much . . . almost as much as drowning does. It sounds bad because he's willing to give me just about anything but I can't -"
I vent out, choking on my words at the end and blink multiple times. Mrs Bolton takes the tissue box from the table infront of us before extending it to me. That's when I feel drops on my thighs.
Wonderful.
I take a few tissues and wipe my eyes, groaning internally at the black streaks that come back. "In our sessions, I've noticed you don't hold a high opinion of yourself beyond your intelligence."
"Because I'm not a good person."
"I think you don't realize what others see or this boy does." She points out.
"I don't. I don't understand why he wants to be with me or how he can even," I chuckle humorlessly. "I'm actually crying over someone wanting to have a future with me."
"You're seventeen. Most teenagers don't even know how to take care of themselves let alone plan a future," Mrs Bolton sighs deeply. "One thing about healthy relationships you should take note of is you need to be happy with yourself instead of relying on the other person to do so . . . its a partnership, not an ownership."
"Are you saying I should break up with him?" I balk and scoff at the idea. "That would destroy him if I did and I can't hurt him."
"Do you love yourself, Callie?" She asks.
I glance down at the tissues in my hand and smile sadly. "I know where you're going with this . . . if I can't love myself how can others or how could I love someone else. I get it."
"I think you're working through a lot and maybe you would benefit from seeing someone outside of school," She waits a moment and continues when I don't instantly reject it. "You've got a bright future and I think it'll be beneficial if you focus on developing yourself and your fears."
