Good Omens Oneshots

4 (IB part 1 sort of)

~Beelzebub pov~
I hate life. S'pose it's lucky I technically don't have a life. I'm bored. Why is Heaven so boring? To be honest I hate Hell; so much paperwork, but at least things happen there. Here, everything is so white, so plain. So boring.

"...the punishment of the traitors failed on both sides..." blah blah blah "...we have accepted..." blah "...this cannot happen again..." blah.

Boring speech. At least it's Michael presenting it and not me. I lean my head in my hand, my elbow on the side of my chair. I would look around to entertain myself, but it's too white and boring to be any type of entertainment. The ground is constructed of large, shiny, white tiles, the small stage thing Michael is standing on is white, and looks like the texture of wood, but painted white. Even the chairs are white.
Oh look, there's Gabriel. Ugh I 'hate' him. He looks just as bored as I probably look.

"...all this leads us to the question..." blah blah. "...so, to answer that, where are we? What is the relationship between Heaven and..." blah, why do people always say Heaven and then Hell? Why is Gabriel's hair so perfect? I love his eyes. Purple. Violet? Lavender? I don't know and I don't care, but they're nice. Look at those eyes, staring back at me. Oh, he's staring at me too. He just winked. No! My lips almost just smiled. Stupid lips. Showing stupid emotions. Just because we have been discussing things entirely different during our 'meetings' doesn't mean anyone else can know. I wink back trying to be subtle.

My flies are so loud. Buzzzzz. I like the sound of buzzing but it's annoying when I'm speaking. Should I send a fly over to him to fake-annoy him? Yes. Gabriel waves it away, breaking his calmness for a moment. I smirk, he gives me a knowing look.

"...anyway, those are our updates, but Gabriel and Lord Beelzebub shall continue to meet to discuss the matter further..." yes! I do an internal air punch. I can keep seeing Gabriel. Can't wait already, and I can tell by his expression that he can't either. Blah blah "...that is the end of our meeting, to confirm all of the information just given, the Archangel Gabriel and Lord Beelzebub shall shake hands." Oh lovely. I wasn't actually listening to any of it but I'm sure it's all fine - Gabriel wouldn't let me make any mistakes like looking past any tricks from Heaven. He loves me. I love him. We're never going to admit it, we'd be the biggest traitors ever in existence (literally) even beyond Aziraphale and Crowley, although I couldn't actually care less about those two.

I stand up, Gabriel copies, and we shake hands, both smirking a little at each other; everyone around us has no idea what we might've got up to during our meetings.

A/N
Thanks again for reading, I'll do a second part to this (like what their next 'meeting' goes like etc). This wasn't very fluffy but I'll try to do more fluff in the next chapter. Point out mistakes pls. Ineffable bureaucracy is my favourite ship ever. Idk how it sounds but I was trying to write like how Beelzebub thinks.
(Word count: 550, sorry it's short)