Good Omens Oneshots

5 (IB, part 2 I guess)

~Beelzebub pov~

Here I am. Boring meeting over (thank Satan for that). Outside Gabriel's office. I knock.
"Beelzebub! Come in." Gabriel says to me somewhat eagerly as he opens the door for me.

This time, I smile, no one else is here. "So I assume you are here to discuss the extremely important matter of the relationship between Heaven and Hell exactly like we were told?" He asks.

I glare at him, I already know he is joking, I mean, it's almost funny, actually doing our work?! Never going to happen. He chuckles before we kiss. Kissing is weird, it's something humans do, and you wouldn't think it would be so good, but it is so good. He pulls away a bit so I lean farther in, wrapping my arms around his neck. He hugs me tenderly. I can tell he wants to go in deeper, and even though I do too, I pull away to annoy him. It's funny to annoy him.

"We ought to do at least some work," he says,

"We're not going to.." I state, "we both know that already," which is true. I sit down on the sofa in his office. His office is boring, but I s'pose it has to be, it is Heaven after all. "Anyway, how are your lot doing up here then?" I ask. Normally, if we have a meeting, we pretend to do work, but actually just talk, because no one else knows what it's like being in charge of so much.

"Eh, alright, nothing very interesting," he answers, flopping down next to me. "How 'bout you?"

"Paperwork has invaded." I simply state.

"Michael and Uriel take care of most of my paperwork."

"Lucky dickhead." I say, Dagon does some of mine but I wish I didn't have to do any like Gabriel. Satan where am I? Did I just wish I could be like Gabriel? I reposition myself so my legs are leaning on Gabriel's lap. It's casual. I love it. "When did you last visit Earth?"

"Apart from checking on other angels about a few hundred years ago, why?"

"Dunno, just wondering." I said, I'm not sure why I asked, I was just curious. "What do you think it's like to be Aziraphale and Crowley?" I asked, unsure why my mouth was doing this to me.

"What?" Asked Gabriel, confused. "You mean... I don't get it, what do you mean?"

"Everyone's leaving them alone now to do whatever they want." I explained, it must be nice, I thought, to get to be some sort of free, and show your feelings freely.

"Ah, I get it now, you mean how they can be more free and do whatever they like?" I nod, he might as well be taking the words out of my head. "Sounds nice, I'll give you that, but they didn't get to be like that easily." I nod again, it's true, but at least there was light at the end of the tunnel for them.

"I'm hungry." I say because I'm always hungry.

"You're not even-"

"Don't talk to me about ruining my celestial body." I interrupt, I know what he's like. He just rolls his eyes, it's funny how he takes everything so seriously.

"Whatever" he says, eventually giving in and miracling some biscuits into existence. I immediately grab one, they all look so delicious, and I shove it down my throat. Gabriel gave a false look of disgust, so I roll my eyes and take another, and push it hard against his lips with force until he reluctantly opens his mouth and I push it in, him choking a little even though he doesn't need to breathe.

"Good?" I ask, Gabriel's eating habits are strange, even if he doesn't need food, why doesn't he at least like the taste?

"Err, sure" he says, not wanting to disappoint. I eat another. I love it with Gabriel, but I hate Heaven.

"Next time come down to Hell."

"No it's disgusting down there."

"It's boring up here."

"We could meet on Earth?"

"Sure, as long as there's food."

Uriel knocked at the door to say the meeting time was over so we quickly kissed again and jumped up to position ourselves to look like we had had a boring meeting. "Times up." Uriel stated as he entered.

"Finally." I say, trying to pretend I'm glad when I am in fact disappointed. I miracle myself back to Hell, in my office, where paperwork had been piling up even more.

Ugh, I think.

A/N
Thank you for reading. I'm thinking of doing Gabriel and Beelzebub meeting up on Earth but there wouldn't be much of a storyline, so send requests pls. Also, point out any mistakes please. Also I just realised I have done 5 parts to this today, don't expect that every day😂
(Word count: 809)