Good Omens Oneshots

20 (IB)

Ok, here we go. Me and Beelzebub are making a speech today, we've had 5 meetings, and are expected to have come to some sort of conclusion. We want more meetings, or to be able to somehow see each other more, but we only started planning what we're going to say in the last half of the last meeting.

When we talk, we are to stand next to each other which wouldn't have been a good idea if we weren't secretly together. A lot of Heaven and Hell are going to be there, so we are meeting on Earth in a conference room. (We couldn't exactly have that many demons in Heaven or vice versa now could we?)

Beelzebub and I get to meet up a little before the speech, so I have just teleported myself to Earth. Beelzebub arrives - alone - so we kiss quickly and deeply, before we both produce a few pieces of paper with what we will say written on. We skim through them quickly, and I am so worried about what the rest of Heaven and Hell will think. Should we be doing this? This probably isn't safe territory but we have nothing else to do.

2pm, the clock flicks over to the agreed time and we take our positions just in time for about 50 of Heavens most important angels, including Michael and Uriel who give me a suspicious look about what the speech will include. The clock ticks louder than I ever thought a clock could tick as we wait in silence for Hell, who are always late anyway. Tick, tock, tick, tock. The slow seconds echo throughout the room eerily.

2:17pm and about 50 demons spark into existence. 17 minutes late, could've been worse.

"Ok," I start, masking my anxiety with false confidence, "thank you for arriving... at all." I finish wondering how words can be so tricky.

"Yeah." Beelzebub adds, glaring at the population of the room. I didn't realise Crowley and Aziraphale would be invited, but there they were sitting at the back. The room was very solidly divided into two halves, with a row of chairs dividing them, and Crowley was the only demon sitting in the row so that he could be next to Aziraphale.

"So," I say, realising how long it had been since either of us spoke "to start, we were given a series of 5 meetings to discuss the situation and what is to come next, after the failed armageddon. The war between Heaven and Hell was delayed, and we thought-"

"Why doezzz the war have to be between Hell and Heaven?" Beelzebub interrupted, I rolled my eyes pretending to be annoyed but it was sweet how they finished my sentence. It was the point of this anyway, and we both felt strongly about not having the war. We didn't want war, we wanted to team up so maybe we could be accepted together. Beelzebub did a bad job of hiding what we wanted though.

I started to have second thoughts about what we had prepared as every set of eyes was glaring at us. They were right; we were being outrageous here. Then I noticed that Aziraphale and Crowley were smiling slightly, not 100% judging us. Well, I thought, that's better than no one agreeing with us.

"Yes. We were playing around with the idea that perhaps the Great Plan meant for us to fight against Earth. That is the reason a lot of demons fell, of course, because of the hatred for Earth, but we were wondering-"

"If Hell and Heaven join forcezz it could be a bigger war!" Beelzebub shouted out of the blue buzzing out of nervousness and probably excitement, and all of the demons (excluding Crowley) suddenly cheered uncontrollably. Which earned me even more suspicious looks from Michael and Uriel. I sighed, again, pretending to be annoyed, but if this was earning us support (even if it was from the demons) it was fine by me. I glanced at Beelzebub to see them grinning uncontrollably at the sight of the demons being so excited.

Once the cheering had died down and it was possible to speak and be heard again, I carried on talking. Beelzebub was doing a good job of 'hating' me and being rude.