BLIND KAGEYAMA AU - Listen to my Voice

• baby steps •

Kageyama POV
Not being able to see is scary. No, not having the choice to see is terrifying. I had no sense of time, or concept of where I was.

My mum was still beside me until moments ago, when she was suddenly called into work.

She tried to refuse, but I assured her that I would be fine.

When I asked, she said it's been roughly three hours since I woke up.

My dad and sister had already visited me, and had just gone to get some food for me. Dinner specifically.

I was told about everything that happened about an hour after I woke up.

After the fire started, the shock and pain caused me to black out. My mum found me shortly after. My dad was the one who put the fire out, and I was rushed to the hospital. My mum had minor burns on her hands from touching me, but that was about it.

I was already sitting up when they came in with the food.

I was starving. I hadn't eaten all day, the machines did that for me.

"Thanks for the meal" I said as I went to grab the chopsticks.

Where were the chopsticks? I patted around some more before Miwa grabbed my hand and placed it in my lap.

"Don't" she said. Her hands were shaking and so was her voice.

Not being able to see has made me a lot more aware of things. Knowing that your older sister has been crying, and because of you at that, was an uncomfortable feeling

"Open" she says. I do, and she places a mouthful of rice into my mouth.

I chew and swallow. I had a sense of what was in my mouth, and how much I needed to chew. At least I knew that much.

"Wow" I say, as she goes to put another spoonful of rice in my mouth. "I really am useless am I"

She hesitates, and doesn't say anything for awhile. I realise that was stupid for me to say, but she wasn't disagreeing. That probably meant it was true.

I get about half way through my meal, or at least, what feels like halfway, when I can hear her start to cry a little.

"Sorry" she says, sniffing. "I've been trying to hold it in this whole time, but I guess you haven't noticed, huh?"

"No" I say. "I haven't"

She hugs me, and I flinch a little. I didn't even hear her coming close.

I hug her back.

"They're scary" she says
"What is?"
"Your eyes"

A ton of emotions flood through the room.

Sadness, pity, confusion.

And all I could do was sit there and not even watch.

Time Skip
It's been roughly two days since I woke up.

I thought that the fear of being blind would start to fade, but it only gets worse.

I don't know when people walk into my room, when they're going to touch me, hell, half the time I don't even know who I'm talking to.

I've had more than a few panic attacks, but they all said that was normal.

Nothing about this was normal.

The usual nurse walks in and with her usual cheery voice said,

"You got someone visiting you today"

She had a thick American accent, so it was difficult to understand her sometimes, but at least I always knew who I was talking to with that accent.

"Who is it?" I say. I hadn't been allowed visitors since I woke up, so this was a shock to me.

"Come on now, you know I can't pronounce Japanese names very well"

If I were to take a guess, I'd say that she was smiling.

"Shoyuh...Hin....ta?"

She says, stuttering a lot.

"Shouyo Hinata!?" I say, fixing her mistakes.

"Yeah, that's the one... oh there he is now I'll leave you to alone"

Now? Now? I thought I'd at least get some time to prepare myself. Before I could wrap my head around what was happening, the leather on the guest chair squeaks.

What was he going to say? What was he going to do. Where even was he?

Suddenly, I feel small hands on mine. I refrain from flinching as to not scare him too much, since that seems to be happening a lot.

The hands were cold but comforting. They were rough, like they'd been scratched or cut.

"Hinata?" I say softly, it was almost a whisper.

There's a short silence.

"You came back" I hear. The voice was coming from my right side. I turn, expecting to see the ginger ball of sunshine who I'd thought of almost everyday since I woke up.

Why I thought of him was a mystery to me.

Instead of the boy I'd seen almost everyday, I saw nothing, just like what I'd seen for what feels like eternity.

"You came back" he repeats. "You came back"

"Dumbass" I say, squeezing his hand tighter. "I never left"

Even though I couldn't see it, the mood in the room lifts. He pulls away from my hand and the leather squeaks again, like he'd gotten up.

"Kageyama!!!" He says loudly. That makes me jump. "I missed you! It's been so lonely in practice without your grumbling but still! It's felt like forever"

I crack a smile. There he was. The hyper Hinata I've always known.

"Of course it'd be lonely without me!" I say, trying to match his enthusiastic attitude. It's the happiest Id felt in days. "Who else's tosses would you be able to hit?"

I reach out. I didn't know how close Hinata was. I end up grabbing his face. It was wet. I pull away quickly.

"Are you... crying"

"No! of course I'm not crying! Why would I be crying!"

He was totally crying. I've seen a lot from the days that I could see, but never in a million years did I think that I'd ever be in the presence of a crying Hinata.

"Can I ask you something?" I say
"Of course, anything"
"My eyes....are they really that scary"

What my sister said has been bugging me a lot, even if she didn't mean it like that, it's all I've been thinking about.

I've seen blind eyes before. My uncles was blind before he died from old age. They were every bit as scary as I thought they would be.

Do I really look like that?

Hinata grabs my face a little. I try not to flinch but end up doing so anyways.

"They're different" he starts. "But I don't think they're scary at all. To be honest, they're pretty cool"

That's definitely not what I expected.

"C...cool?"
"Yeah! Like superhero cool!"

When he says it like that, it makes me feel extra cool.

"How do you think the rest of the team will react to them?"

He pauses.

"They might be a little taken a back at first, but I think they'll get used to it. But you don't have to worry about them. Baby steps Kageyama, baby steps."