what you can't have (b.e.)

treacherous

A/N: y'all i've never finished writing a billie fic and it's been like NINE months... because i keep starting new ones lol ANYWAYS read my new one 'melodrama'

inspo: treacherous, taylor swift 

~

And I'll do anything you say, if you say it with your hands, and I'd be smart to walk away, but you're quicksand...

Mila's POV:

I open up my eyes to the daylight shining in through the window, blending in with the red lights beginning to flicker. I reach for Billie but my fingers meet paper. I unfold the note, wiping sludge out of the corners of my eyes, yawning.

Meet me outside when you wake up :)

She's like a morning cup of coffee and a great big smile fills up my face as I throw on one of her sweatshirts, mismatched socks, and trip on my way out of her room. I run past her family, grinning too like it's some big secret. I try to pull open the front door, but the deadbolt doesn't budge, and I blush as my hands tremble, sliding away the lock.

I shield my eyes from the sun with my hand, and Billie turns around, throwing her arms up in the air, smiling. I feel confused but happy, running to her, running for no reason. Her eyes are a magical blue when light finds them, the same color as the sky.

"What is happening," I laugh, her laugh contagious. She grabs both my hands and twirls me in a circle, then grabs both my shoulders. She puts her hands over my eyes.

"Walk," she whispers and I hold both my hands out in front of me on instinct. I feel the grass under my feet, sinking into the mud. I can sense we're walking around her house to the backyard, and she tells me to keep my eyes closed as she unlocks the gate. She pulls me forward, sits me down on a chair, and I wait as I hear her footsteps everywhere, until finally:

"Open," she commands and my eyelashes flutter, blinking away the sunlight.

"No--" I can't catch my breath, jumping out of the chair.

Billie holds a brand new skateboard in her hands, and she turns it upside down so I can see the bottom. It's a neon green shade, in bold black letters: when we all fall asleep, where do we go? She presents it to me like a gift, placing it in my hands. I hold it so, so carefully. She points to the bottom corner of the board: two little characters, ilo and milo, but under it: mila + billie.

"Sorry-- I know it might be stupid, but you need a new board and I wanted to make one for you--"

"Billie, stop." I shush her, and she goes quiet, her eyes afraid.

"It's perfect," I bite my lip so I don't cry. There's a part of me that doesn't believe I deserve something so good, that feels guilty, but I push it down and lean forward to kiss her. She relaxes, holding my chin while I hold on tightly to the board.