Beyond Terminus (Book Two)

Chapter 30: Fear

Hope's POV

I keep my eyes on the sky as the wind blows past me. My hair flutters behind me with the light breeze, and I imagine from another person's point of view I look sort of like a movie star.

That is, a dirty, saddened, pregnant, apocalyptic movie star.

The fire truck sits nearby with Eugene still passed out in the back. The church is boarded up and crammed full of walkers, and I sigh, gripping the bag in my hand tightly.

The grave where we laid Beth sits alone in the shade of a tree. We had a funeral where everyone either remained stone faced or cried.

Daryl cried. I was stone faced.

Now, Daryl is out hunting. He doesn't want to be near anyone right now, and although I long to comfort him, I know there is nothing I can do.

I take a deep breath, striding into the woods as well as my legs allow. I go until I'm out of sight and no walkers are to be found.

I sit down on a log, opening the backpack. I rummage through the few items, finding prenatal vitamins and other stuff. The last thing I pull out scares me the littlest bit.

A pregnancy test.

Time to find out for sure, although it's pretty obvious to me.

I open the box, settling down to do the deed.

I finish, wincing a little as I pull my pants back up over my aching legs. I stand up, slowly walking back to camp with the test in my hand.

Soon, a little red cross can be seen on the little monitor. Positive.

It's true. I'm really pregnant.

I cover my mouth with my hand, shutting my eyes tight. The full realization hits me again and again like a wave pounding against a sea shore.

I'm going to have a baby...in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.

I'm carrying a redneck's baby in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.

Yeah, that's totally what I imagined my life would be like when I was little.

I traipse back to what's left of our camp. Maggie cries next to Beth's grave, and a pang of sorrow runs through my heart. This shouldn't have happened. It could've been avoided.

But somehow, I think Beth knew that she was going to die when she stabbed Dawn. She was prepared to die for us.

Maggie gets up, still crying as she heads over to where the others wait quietly. I sit down next to the grave, placing a small flower onto the freshly laid soil. I grip the test in my hand, shaking with fear.

"I'm sorry this happened to you Beth," I whisper. "I never got the chance to thank you. Thank you for keeping Daryl alive. I know it wasn't directly, but you were there for him. You kept him sane when he thought I was gone. Thank you..." I sniff, feeling tears pricking at my eyes. "I'm pregnant. I'm scared, and I feel like I should talk to you. All of you up there, pray for us. Watch over us. Talk to your dad, Lori, T-dog, Dale, everyone...pray for us."

I droop my head, staring between the grave and the test in my hand. This is a world where young girls die from gunshot wounds. This is a world where no one is safe. This is a world where your loved ones may die at any moment and you're powerless to avoid it. My mind starts to race with fears, and my breathing speeds up.

I hunch over, crying fully, my tears wetting the soil beneath me.

Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I spin to meet Daryl's concerned gaze. His eyes are still red rimmed from crying, and squirrels hang on a rope.

"Hope, what's wrong?" he asks softly, kneeling down beside me.

"Lori's old fears are becoming my own, Daryl," I say hoarsely. "If the baby dies later, it'll bite me from the inside and tear me apart."

"No. That won't happen," he says, grasping my hand tightly. "We're gonna get our baby, and he or she is gonna grow up strong and healthy."

"There's always the possibility."

"Of course, but not for us."

He kisses me, and I kiss back, tears still lining my face.

"Hey." He cups my face in his hands, and I look up into those beautiful blue orbs. "I love ya so damn much."

I smile weakly, hugging him tightly, my body still shaking.

"I love you too."