Shades of Silver and Black

EXTRA 1

GRANDPA ARCHIE'S NINE POLICIES THAT ANYBODY WHO DOES NOT WANT TO GET DISOWNED MUST FOLLOW:

Number One:

If you wish to kill somebody or 'make them disappear', a three day notice must be given before you do so as I will need time to find a proper place to hide the body and get alabi's.

Number Two:

If you are personally doing the killing, bodily injuring or harming, a fake or second wand is an absolute must, no exceptions. Only a fool would allow the evidence to be traced back to his or her wand. On that note, using the wand of somebody you dislike is also encouraged as well as leaving bits of that person's hair on the scene of crime.

Number  Three:

Please use your common sense. Just because I can bribe people to get you out of prison, doesn't mean I want to do so. Try and wear a different perfume, bigger shoe size, wrong wand, gloves and fake hair so that it cannot be pointed back to you. 

Also, don't forget to inform me three days in advance.

I'm mostly looking at Orion, Lucretia, Cassiopeia, Dorea and Alphard. Honestly, you all are supposed to be good examples and role models to the younger ones, not on the list of what they shouldn't do!

Number  Four:

No opinions on muggles, mudbloods (or muggleborns, whichever terminology you prefer),half bloods or Quidditch should be given in public or to the media. Either keep your opinions to your wonderful selves, or share it -and I cannot emphasize this enough- inside the house and not at your younger brother's marriage ceremony, my very public forty eighth birthday party, at the previous Lord Sirius the I's funeral or the other tens of times that I have frankly lost count of.

I do not want our Most Ancient and Noble House to see yet another civil war amongst us or worse, let the whole world know about it due to the very kind and lovely Daily Prophet. (Once again, I'm mostly looking at Orion, Lucretia, Cassiopeia, Dorea and Alphard.)

Number Five:

No using my precious jewel encrusted daggers or the cutlery to stab somebody. In fact, I would very much appreciate it if you could keep the whole stabbing thing to a minimum and give us a five second warning before you do so, so that we will have enough time to back away from you all.After all, stab wounds to tend to splatter blood and what in the world makes you all assume that blood is easily washable?

Orion, stop influencing Sirius, James and Regulus with your opinions regarding 'hitting people with a knife'.

Number Six:

Speaking of hitting people, after you have hit a member of this family, please inform me about the why's and who's. A family meeting will be conducted shortly after in order to settle the matter like actual people and not uncivilised ones. During this meet, I will once again for the millionth time, stress on the importance of why verbal confrontation against your family members is much more encouraged than physical ones.

And yes, Lyra, sending poisonous snakes against the members of your family counts as a physical confrontation even if you have the anti-venom with you at hand and no, you cannot keep making wedges between some of the members of your family just so you can practise healing on their injuries.

I understand sibling rivalry and all, but I ask you to kindly follow the above rules unless you want me to kick you out of this House and thus, make you dirt poor. (This is specifically for Orion and Lucretia; Cassiopeia and Cygnus; Dorea and Pollux; Bellatrix and Andromeda; and Alphard and Walburga. Need I mention once again, that you are setting an awful example for the little ones?)

News flash, I don't care who started it, but you become the better person and don't start any duel (formal, informal or free)/fight/spat/stabbing contest or whatever synonym you prefer to use.

Number Seven:

For anybody who is a minor, 125 gallons is your monthly allowance. No, I do not care if it is less and yes, you are given the freedom to do whatever your heart desires with it as long as you do not break any of the above statements, and in case you are wondering, no, hiring a hitman or hit woman does not count as a break in rules.

For anybody who is an adult and still not working, your monthly allowance is 150 gallons and if you complain about it in any way, shape or form, feel free to get a job and actually start earning money.

For those of you who have a job and are adults, you also get 150 gallons and I honestly don't understand why you are complaining since you have a job. If it isn't paying you well enough, get a new one. Simple.

Number Eight:

No selling things that don't belong to you. You are in no way allowed to give away the money, property and life of somebody in your family to somebody else without consulting them first and getting their direct, written permission. (Got it, Alphard?)

Number Nine:

We stand together in the face of outsiders. No exceptions. Blacks stick together. If you don't, it means that you are not a Black and I will gladly make that fact official.

I hope you will follow these simple policies of mine.

Thanking you,

Yours sincerely,

Arcturus Sirius Black III

Lord of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black

*Also, loves, no getting blood on my carpets, alright? -Grandma Mal.