Part One, Chapter Two: The Young Lord Van Fall

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AMBRA 

I was sitting there like petrified, just letting him kiss me with my own lips pressed tightly against each other. I had never kissed a boy, nor have I ever sought out the need to do it. Kissing anyone just was not in my right interest so far. I always figured that the right someone would show and I would know them when I see them. So far, they had never come but I did not really miss them either.

But Johann was moving in such a passion, trying to seduce me into giving into him. He was moving his tongue over my full lips, sucking at it and trying to gently bite it open.

I could not say that I did not enjoy all of this but everything was happening so suddenly that I forced him away from my body which proved a little difficult though. He would not stop kissing me and trying grope at me, starting to bite my lip until it hurt and he nicked me with his teeth.

I pushed him away forcefully and slapped his right cheek, immediately regretting it though. The way he looked at me, his soft face blushed from kissing me and the hurt in his eyes. The way he held onto his probably hurting cheek broke my heart.

"I-I'm sorry."

I squeezed through the lump in my throat before I stumbled to my feet and ran out of the room, allowing my tears to come only as soon as the door fell shut behind me. Imogen was just about to hurry into the room when I almost ran her over.

"Ambra?! What happened?"

She asked me with the worried look of a mother on her face. She was my guardian angel; took care of me when I needed her. But right now, I could not bear to share with her the happened. I just shook my head and kept running towards my room, ignoring Clarissa's shouts and locking myself into my chambers.

I was glad that she did not try to barge in; she had enough compassion for that. I just began pacing through the room, feeling how my breathing was shallowing. Each of our rooms had a bed, a small table and a sink to clean oneself in the morning.

I walked up to the latter and splashed my face with water before looking at my puffy eyes and continuing to cry. I slumped down onto the bed, burying my face deep into the pillow that I barely heard the knock on the door.

Of course, I already knew who it was even without seeing her body carefully move towards me. I felt Imogen's gentle hand on my back and sensed her soft fingers move the hair out of my face. My short, brown, matted and lord-unworthy hair.

"What did he do?"

She whispered as she kneeled down beside my bed so that we were face-to-face, her albino-grey eyes locked with my boringly brown ones. I was conflicted whether to tell her or not. I could not imagine her reaction even a little. Whether she would scold me for running away or feel the urge to run up and slap the Lord in the face. One could never tell with her.

"You know you can talk to me, right?"

As if she could sense the conflict within me, she kept insisting. I have never been able to resist her. She was simply too good for me not to tell her and especially too good for me to lie to her.

"He kissed me..."

I croaked, my throat being hoarse and dry from all the crying. I closed my eyes before I told her, still afraid of her reaction. The tiny gasp that she released was enough for me and I could have evaporated, that was how uncomfortable I felt.

"How was it?"

She added after a minute of silence. Her hand was now resting on my shoulder and I could hear her sit down on the floor to ease her knees from crouching beside my bed.

"I..."

I felt the tears well up behind my closed eyelids again and I really had no idea what to say. I liked the kiss but I would have like to decide when to be kissed myself and when it is enough. I liked young Johann but he was still a Lord and I was his maid. This simply cannot work.

"I don't know."

I just replied, shaking off Imogen's hand and turning my back to her. I wanted to be alone right now and her curiosity annoyed me a little. I was not receiving the support that I had hoped for. Yet, she was nosier than I liked.

"Can you please go now? I want to be alone for a while..."

I imagined her nodding as she waited a moment before standing up again. I could hear her shift and saw her perfect body leave my room. She would have been a far more suitable lover. Not me – Ambra – filthy and ragged, looking like recently fished out of a dumpster. With blemishes and unwanted curves. Just the simple maid... 

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