beside you | wroetoshaw

twelve

talia and i were heading back to simon and jjs flat, just for a few drinks. well at least thats what we thought.
we walked in since the door was unlocked to see all the guys jumping and dancing about.
we burst out laughing and none of them noticed us, we quickly put our bags into a room and made our way into the living room to join them.
once they eventually realised we were there they cheered and starting jumping around us in a circle. like a fucking cult or something

i pushed my way out of the circle and walked into the kitchen to pour myself a drink while a drunk calfreezy came in behind me. i didn't realise he was there and when i turned around i screamed out of shock.

"i'm not that scary looking em" he laughed while hugging me

"how you feeling cal?" i laughed
"best i've ever felt, how about you my darling ?" he asked while failing to stand up straight
"darling?? well be honest i'm quite nervous, ive been thinking and i'm going to tell harry i like him" i said which picking at the skin around my nails

his face dropped "do you really think that's the best idea?"
i felt my heart pound, was i being stupid? "well i've kind of had enough of sneaking about, i should at least tell him how i feel even if he doesn't feel the same"
"true true, well good luck em, i'm going to shag big ksi" he walked away and i laughed to myself.

i slowly walked out of the kitchen, shaking slightly while i was looking for harry in the crowd of men that were acting like boys.
once i spotted him on the couch i went over and patted his shoulder. "can i talk to you, like in another room?" i asked
"of course, i need to speak to you about something anyway" he said grabbing his drink and getting up

we walked into simons room, it was a little awkward as harry was waved and i was completely sober.
"so who's going first?" i asked
"i will" he said while putting his glass down

"so this is about us, that's what i wanted to talk about" he started
"yeah i wanted to talk about that as well" i said
"great, so i think it's best that we call whatever we had off now and just go back to friends" he said bluntly

i felt my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach "r-right yeah, i was thinking that as well" i lied through my teeth.  i felt tears quickly flowing to my eyes

"wow really? that's great we agree then, to be honest i was thinking it was a stupid idea we could have ruined our friendship and i'd never want to do that" he laughed, i just nodded because i knew if i tried speaking my voice would crack and i'd burst into tears.
"right well time to get back to drinking" he grabbed his cup and left, i sat down on simons bed with my head in my hands not sure what just happened.

talia must have seen harry walk out as she came in, at first she was smiling but once she saw how i was sat her mood changed quickly. " what happened" she asked concerned

"h-he wanted to call things off, and just be friends again. he said what we were was stupid" i said and a flood of tears came out my eyes.

"wait what!?  what do you mean what you had?" she said while hugging me. "me and harry were 'friends with benefits' that's how i started liking him i suppose " i explained to her and she just nodded "the other day he said he liked you, this doesn't make any sense"
i didn't say anything, i didn't want to say anything, i just wanted to go home

"i think i'm going to go" i said in a low voice, talia nodded her head while rubbing my back. "want me to come with you?" she asked, i shook my head no. "no you stay, i'll be fine it's a silly little crush, i'll get over it quick enough" i tried smiling and grabbed my bags.

i put my shoes on and just about walked out the door but before i did i looked back into the living room and just looked at harry for a few seconds. he looked so happy, it didn't faze him one bit, i just got attached. i love someone who doesn't love me back.