beside you | wroetoshaw

part thirty-five

as i pulled harry out for a chat, i felt my stomach twist and turn as i walked away from the group of boys.
i don't know why though, as i said to freya before i came here that it wasn't a big deal, so talking about it shouldn't be a big deal either.
or so i was trying to convince myself it wasn't.

we got to a secluded area just a room away from where they were filming, as i turned around to face at harry his expression dropped once he saw the look on my face.

"geez, is this serious?" he asked, mirroring my expression

"n-no, i don't think so" i said, shuffling my feet

"so go on, what do you need to talk to me about" harry smiled, crossing his arms

"well, i talked to freya this morning and she thinks we are being stupid for not talking about...the erm, situation, we had. like a few nights ago" i stammered

his eyes brows rose and mouth slightly parted, he looked shocked but not surprised

"oh right" he replied, not exactly helping the awkward atmosphere that was growing

"i-i said to her that it was nothing, and it didn't really matter since we carried on just fine. but she said it's not like healthy to not speak about it" i said

"i can understand where she's coming from, but you said it was a drunk mistake so i just kind of dropped it thinking you didn't want like anything to come from it" harry said, looking at his feet

"what do you mean, i didn't want anything to come from it" i asked, confused

"i-i said i missed you, i meant that. and for me it wasn't a drunken mistake" he admitted

i stood staring at him, as he wasn't looking at me still, and a flood of guilt thrashed through my body knowing that i only said it was a drunk mistake to stop any assumptions freezy and lux would come up with.

"oh" is all i could reply with, taken back by his sudden reveal of his feelings

"i understand if it was that to you but it wasn't to me         and-"

harry was interrupted by someone knocking on the door of the room we were in

"harry we need you back out here to film" i heard josh from the other side of the door

"do this one without me mate, i'll be out soon" harry quickly said back

"har-"

"please josh" harry begged, his voice sounding sad

"alright, but only this once" josh stated, we both stayed silent listening to his footsteps walking away

"why didn't you tell me" i asked him

"i was scared" he admitted

"about what? harry every time we have had something it was always you that ended it, you know that if you said you wanted to be with me i'd come running to you in a heartbeat" i said in a breath

"because emilia! look at you" he said waving his hands about

i stood silent, unclear of what he was talking about

"you are perfect emilia, you can have any boy you want at a snap of your finger. so if you can have anyone why would you want me" he said rubbing his eyes