Murmur, mutter, listen to the cacophony around me Outrageous, blatant, please take me out of this insanity Deep within myself, I knew I had to be true But living in this world, that was harder to do The sky is red, people watch your every step Though no one is looking, mistakes will be kept All the miseries this world has to hand in a plate It's the inability to tell the truth I can't reciprocate Every time someone tries to pry that mask away I retreat, repair it, and come back new as day After all these things I do for love's sake Here I am, trying to live, so I lie—awake
Even then, I tried to show my true face People scream in terror, they run faster their pace Then I tried to change who I am, to please the eye They told me I was a hypocrite, that I was a lie Nowhere in sight are my clarity in truth Down, deeper in rubble are my chances of sweet fruit So where, then, will I find peace in something Every day, I reinvent myself, crafting every beginning So in this discourse I give every tiny things I have Listen well because after this, you'll be a hero to love Me, a flawed, imperfect creature at the stake Be patient because this is the first time I won't lie—awake
I am a piece of dirt in the face of the infinite galaxy The way stars move, nobody notices the way I see Used to it, though, I'm used to people forgetting me So I try to live with the best I can, to pass on eternity Though no one is looking, I stress over it I fear that everyone will notice the mistakes I did Every day, I lie to others, fooling myself too I thought everything is perfect but now it'd never do Life is a blatant lie we tell ourselves all the way All the while grasping for things that cannot stay Little steps against the truth of life I am to take But because of fear, I recoil and lie—awake
Scream, yell, listen to the cacophony inside the soul Fighting to get out but the world won't let it go The world is cruel, pounding down your will It's population just the same—forcing you to go still Infinite ways to lie but only one to say what's true Ironic, isn't it? Why does nobody have a clue? Truth is overrated, lies are deemed worthy of praise Whoever tells the most extravagant—he takes all the craze When is it, should there be the most beautiful time To be ourselves, to forget all of the world's crime Because when the world becomes too hard to bear, I'll break And as I pick up the pieces, I will have to lie—awake
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I hurt myself again by typing that poem in here.
A little trivia—this is one of the personal poems that stems from my personal experiences. At some point, I feel that way and I feel like I have to put it to paper so that I can deal with it properly.
This poem talks about feeling like a stranger to your own body. I took a play on the phrase "lie awake" which pertains to one lying on bed and not sleeping. In this poem, however, I used it to mean the other thing—that we consciously lie every day and we can't do anything to stop it.
How about you? What do you think this poem means? Comment below. :)
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