11 | lie, awake

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Murmur, mutter, listen to the cacophony around me
Outrageous, blatant, please take me out of this insanity
Deep within myself, I knew I had to be true
But living in this world, that was harder to do
The sky is red, people watch your every step
Though no one is looking, mistakes will be kept
All the miseries this world has to hand in a plate
It's the inability to tell the truth I can't reciprocate
Every time someone tries to pry that mask away
I retreat, repair it, and come back new as day
After all these things I do for love's sake
Here I am, trying to live, so I lie—awake

Even then, I tried to show my true face
People scream in terror, they run faster their pace
Then I tried to change who I am, to please the eye
They told me I was a hypocrite, that I was a lie
Nowhere in sight are my clarity in truth
Down, deeper in rubble are my chances of sweet fruit
So where, then, will I find peace in something
Every day, I reinvent myself, crafting every beginning
So in this discourse I give every tiny things I have
Listen well because after this, you'll be a hero to love
Me, a flawed, imperfect creature at the stake
Be patient because this is the first time I won't lie—awake

I am a piece of dirt in the face of the infinite galaxy
The way stars move, nobody notices the way I see
Used to it, though, I'm used to people forgetting me
So I try to live with the best I can, to pass on eternity
Though no one is looking, I stress over it
I fear that everyone will notice the mistakes I did
Every day, I lie to others, fooling myself too
I thought everything is perfect but now it'd never do
Life is a blatant lie we tell ourselves all the way
All the while grasping for things that cannot stay
Little steps against the truth of life I am to take
But because of fear, I recoil and lie—awake

Scream, yell, listen to the cacophony inside the soul
Fighting to get out but the world won't let it go
The world is cruel, pounding down your will
It's population just the same—forcing you to go still
Infinite ways to lie but only one to say what's true
Ironic, isn't it? Why does nobody have a clue?
Truth is overrated, lies are deemed worthy of praise
Whoever tells the most extravagant—he takes all the craze
When is it, should there be the most beautiful time
To be ourselves, to forget all of the world's crime
Because when the world becomes too hard to bear, I'll break
And as I pick up the pieces, I will have to lie—awake

Scream, yell, listen to the cacophony inside the soulFighting to get out but the world won't let it goThe world is cruel, pounding down your willIt's population just the same—forcing you to go stillInfinite ways to lie but only one to say what's t...

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I hurt myself again by typing that poem in here.

A little trivia—this is one of the personal poems that stems from my personal experiences. At some point, I feel that way and I feel like I have to put it to paper so that I can deal with it properly.

This poem talks about feeling like a stranger to your own body. I took a play on the phrase "lie awake" which pertains to one lying on bed and not sleeping. In this poem, however, I used it to mean the other thing—that we consciously lie every day and we can't do anything to stop it.

How about you? What do you think this poem means? Comment below. :)

 :)

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