Searching- A saga ✔

10- I met a Sweetheart in Vrindavan

I keep trudging along the forested path,

As I twist and turn along the curling tracks,

The way I've been doing for months now,

My breath comes out in rough hitches,

And I wind through long erased tracks.

I feel weary searching for Him everywhere,

Yet not finding Him anywhere.

Tears stream down my besmeared face.

I feet the way I felt thirteen years ago,

When I got lost in the supermarket,

Because of my own impulsive stupidity,

And crying out "Ammaaa! Ammaa".

I close my eyes, letting my tears ,

Wash across the lines of my face,

Not caring to wipe them away,

Day after day,

Path after path,

City after city,

Across plains and plateaus,

And mountains and oceans,

I feel lost, yet so found...

Confusing?

Yes, I feel confused too....

This unrequited love,

Yet requited in ways that matter...

Confusing?

Yes, I feel confused too....

But  more than confusion,

Bitterness and hopelessness,

That I should give this all up,

This divine journey, this searching...

The trees around me,

Seem hauntingly beautiful,

Fruits ripe with juice ,

And flowers dripping nectar.

I don't know where I am,

The eerie charm of this new land,

And the seductive enthrall ,

Of these ferns and roses,

Fail before my looming hopelessness.

I'll be better off leading a mundane life,

Like every other benign mortal,

Than searching for this omnipresent Savior,

But where am I?

How do I get back?

I am done with this journey.

"Good bye, Milord"

I say to no one in particular.