Critiques

Will Skylar Manage?

Will Skylar manage?

By Rockygirl13

Critique

Cover art – The cover isn't very eye catching and the title is quite hard to read. The image is a good one but it needs to be brighter and bolder. Also consider changing the title font and size.

Introduction

-         Change "til" to "until"

-         Change i to I.

-         Change "Complete" to "complete".

Chapter 1

-         I read it through and in some places it is hard to understand what is going on exactly. For example "Maybe shes has been a fake friend all along?". I don't really know what that means.

-         You need to correct all of the i to I.

-         Basingstoke always has a capital letter.

-         Not sure why she wasn't allowed on the train by the policeman, just because Chy wasn't there. Maybe change this part to "I waited for hours in the cold and when the train finally arrived Chy was nowhere to be seen".

-         I liked the idea of the letter. But it doesn't mention the locker very clearly in it.

-         The ending could be improved by Skylar finding and pressing the button. Then give the reader a small glimpse of what is revealed.

I hope this helps. Please vote and comment on this and let me know what you think.

Thanks