The following is a few of the things my daughter has said throughout her life. They are in no particular order yet, but I hope to organize them some time soon.
Some of the things quoted here were said when she was in elementary school, some in junior high school, and a majority of the things were said during high school. I was also lucky enough to save many of her texts so that people would know that I was not making this stuff up.
Before anyone gets all butt hurt (as Lauren would put it), I want to tell you right now that Lauren is one of the brightest kids I know. She is very smart and can handle any academic activity. It just so happens that every once in a while she'll say things without using her brain. It happens to all of us, but it happens to her more.
I hope you enjoy this book. It is a continuing series because Lauren continues to say things worthy of this book. Soon I will organize to make a bit more sense with a lot more narrative from me explaining some of those quotes and what life with Lauren is like. In the meantime I will just put out the quotes exactly like she said them and as I had posted on Facebook.
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The other day we were in the car and Lauren was in the back seat lying down on her side. We were stuck in traffic and moving forward a few feet at a time every few moments. Lauren was lying down on her side facing the front of the car. I guess she got bored and turned around (still lying down on her side) but now facing the back of the car. Moments after she had just turned around our car moved forward again a few feet and Lauren says "Why are we going backwards?" Poor baby. We could not stop laughing.
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Lauren- Dad do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girls name is?
Me- Hmmm...that's a good one. Is it a consonant or a vowel?
Silence....
More silence...
Me- Oh please tell me you know what a consonant and a vowel are!
Lauren - Dad why you always gotta be like that? Why can't you just answer the fricken question!
Me- Answer my freaken question. What is a vowel?
Lauren - You're no fun Dad. Forget it.
Me - Forget nothing. Stop trying to Google it on your phone! Answer the question.
Lauren - It's neither a vowel nor a consonant. It's just a letter.
Me- Cut your shit out before I pull this car over. What is a vowel?
Lauren- Okay okay...uh..a vowel is ahh...ahh...eh...ehh...well...oh...
Me- Close enough.
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Lauren - Dad can I buy these shoes?
Me- Sure, but then what are the prostitutes going to wear?
Lauren- I don't get it.
Me- That's a no.
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Things Lauren Micaela Alvarez has said while on her period:
1. #$#&# #**@# @#!! #$&^#!
2. Hey boy where you going? Nah you ain't going nowhere. Come here! Dad stop the car!
YOU ARE READING
Blonde Moments: Life with a blonde teenage daughter.
Non-FictionMy daughter, as smart as she is, sometimes says the craziest things. This is a collection of actual quotes that came directly from her. You can't make this stuff up. I blame it on her hair.
