At a restaurant
Lauren- I can't wait to have kids so I can eat food off their plates.
Me- What?
Lauren- (Looking around) Little kids. They never finish their food. You don't look like a fat ass ordering a lot for yourself when you can just eat the food the kids leave on their plate at restaurants.
Me- And that is good enough reason to have kids?
Lauren- I can't think of a better reason. Can you?
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Eating at Cinnabon.
Lauren -"If I knew what sex was, and sex was food, this would be sex."
Me- "Riiiiiiight....."
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Lauren -"Dad, we need to stock up on food and water."
Me- "Seriously? You are going to start that coronavirus nonsense too? There will be no pandemic. Why are people panicking? It's just a virus. We will be okay."
Lauren- "I just meant we need groceries, dad. Wait. There's going to be a pandemic? Why are you just telling me this now?"
YOU ARE READING
Blonde Moments: Life with a blonde teenage daughter.
Non-FictionMy daughter, as smart as she is, sometimes says the craziest things. This is a collection of actual quotes that came directly from her. You can't make this stuff up. I blame it on her hair.
