The following conversations all took place with Lauren in her room lying on her bed reading something from her stupid Snapchat or other app.
#1
Lauren-The old guy from The Notebook died!
Me-We do this every year! He's already dead.
Lauren-I said he was dead!
Me-No. He died a few years ago. We go through this every year!
Lauren-Oh yeah. Sorry.
Me-But the young guy from the Notebook did die this year.
Lauren-What the! Nooooooooo!
There is a loud thump when she rolls out of bed and hits the floor. Then another loud thump when she apparently runs into the wall trying to get up from the floor. Then she runs into the living room out of breath and runs up to me.
Lauren-Ryan Gosling is dead?!
Me- Oh you remember his name but not James Garner?
Lauren- Who's James Garner?!
Me- The old man from The Notebook!
Lauren- So how did Ryan Gosling die?
Me- Oh, no I was kidding. He's not dead. Wanna get me a glass of water since you are up already?
She runs into her room and gets a pillow. I run into my room and get my pillow. Fifteen (okay probably more like 5) minutes later we both needed to use our inhaler. She didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. She never bought me my glass of water.
#2
I had turned off her phone internet because she was going over our data limits on our plan.
Lauren- I'm listening to my bae!
Me- Who cares! I don't care! Do it quietly!
Lauren-But he's my bae!
Me-I thought I turned off your internet on the phone?
Lauren- We have internet here at home! Ha ha ha! He's my bae!
Me- Shut up already!
Lauren-My bae!
I go and unplug the wifi router. I go to my room and get my pillow. Fifteen minutes later we both need our inhalers.
# 3
Lauren-We are not alone!
Me-Yes we are.
Lauren-No I mean in the universe!
Me-(Ugh) I don't care. Be quiet!
Lauren-But we are not alone! Isn't that crazy! There could be other planets out there just like ours! There could be other Lauren's out there!
Me-I bet they are quieter than you! Be quiet already.
Lauren- Okay. I bet the other Dads on the other planets are nicer than you!
Me- Why don't you go find out!
Lauren- I will need my internet back on my phone for that.
Me-Not a chance!
YOU ARE READING
Blonde Moments: Life with a blonde teenage daughter.
Non-FictionMy daughter, as smart as she is, sometimes says the craziest things. This is a collection of actual quotes that came directly from her. You can't make this stuff up. I blame it on her hair.
